So before I came out, I seemed to not have much trouble talking to guys. I would be at least somewhat willing to strike up a conversation with one randomly. Now that I'm out, I seem to be afraid to even look, let alone talk to them. In the last few days I've made about a dozen new lesbian friends and it is interesting how much easier this was than all the years I would befriend females as a "straight" guy. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to break down these barriers and fears? I think being in a loud bar or club is just not my thing because I prefer quieter, more intimate opportunities where I can easily hear and be heard. So if I do end up going to a gay bar this afternoon, does anyone have any tips? I'll be alone and probably see plenty of people either alone or in small groups. Maybe I should just make a positive comment about one of them and see if I can sit down with them. Once I get something STARTED it shouldn't be so bad. It's just the initial difficulty and shock. I'm so new to this too so I feel like I'm obviously inexperienced and my hesitation proves that to others I bet...
Hard to give advice, simply because I've never had this problem. I've approached and talked to guys, gay guys, hot gay guys...even porn stars. I guess I don't have an issue with it because I just assume they're people I'm conversing with. I don't ever think "wow, he's hot" or "I hope I get to score with him", even if that might be our ultimate destination. I just think "I'd like to talk to him", and go talk to him. Lex
Hmm. . .this is kinda like where I'm at. I've noticed that, since I've began to come out, I've been finding it easier to talk to new women more than men(With my friends it's different; I feel more comfortable talking to my close guy friends than girl friends; I also think this may be because it's taken me a while to become comfortable enough about not making them feel awkward in any way, and now we pretty much talk about everything). Of course, some men are easier to talk to than others, but I have an extremely hard time talking to men who I find very attractive. I think that, looking back to the point I made about "awkwardness", I kinda don't want guys to be deterred from becoming friends or acquaintances if they know I'm gay or find out I'm gay. I found that if I try not to be distracted by attraction or similar things, it becomes much easier to talk to other guys.
I think it will help if I look at each person as trying to make friends. Once that is established, if things go further, it won't be as difficult for me. I have some outgoing friends that I'll have to take with me. Of course I've only been in this world for about a week.
