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God...Please Say It Gets Better

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ToTheCeilingFan, Jan 9, 2011.

  1. ToTheCeilingFan

    Full Member

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    Yes, this will be a rant. Sorry, I just have so much emotion that needs to get out right now. Thanks for reading. <3
    I spent the past weekend at my friend's birthday party. It took place in a hotel and there were about twelve other girls there, most of whom were extremely religious. We were watching Modern Family and it was incredibly awkward for me to listen to them talking about how homosexuality was such a sin, man should not lie with man, etc. etc. I had no idea what to do in this situation--I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to cause a huge scene at someone else's party. When people were talking about relationships and who they liked, I felt like I had no way to participate. I ended up making up a boyfriend out of sheer boredom and discomfort. Lying made me feel sick, but I had no idea what else to do. What was I supposed to say? I didn't want to get bible-bashed or start a fight.
    And then later I accidentally walked in on my best friend/crush of 3+ years making out with another girl. I had suspected for a while that she might be bi, but I was pretty sure that if she definitely wasn't out to herself yet. She's constantly had a boyfriend for about two years now and I assumed that she wouldn't come out to herself for another few years. I thought that it would feel amazing to find out that she had come out to herself, but I had no idea how painful it would be to see her with another girl. It already hurts to know that she has a boyfriend, but to know that she's out to herself and just hasn't told me--hasn't picked ME--god it hurts. I know I sound dramatic, but it seriously hurt. It still hurts a whole lot, and I don't think it'll go away for a while. And then this morning her mom walked in on the two of them sleeping naked together, but my friend just brushed it off and said that it had just been really hot in the hotel room. Which it know doubt was. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    So basically I spent the weekend being told that being gay is NOT okay and then to top it off I found out that my best friend is out to herself, but she's madly in love with another girl...let's just say that it hurts so bad. I know there are other girls out there, and that as people grow up life'll probably get more accepting, but sometimes waiting is so hard. My friend never found out that I saw her with the other girl. Should I ask her about it point blank or should I wait until she tells me?
    Thanks for listening/reading. It means a lot to me after a rough day. <3
     
  2. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! (*hug*) Sorry to hear that you didn't have a good get together with your friends. If you find it too difficult to listen to your friends' talk on how homosexuality is a sin, and feel uncomfortable maybe it is time that you try to make some new friends with those who are more accepting and supportive. Keep your friends, but have also a couple of friends where you can be yourself without having to feel uncomfortable or feel that you are trapped.

    You don't have to necessarily say something when the topic of relationships comes up. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "I don't have anyone in my life at the moment but I keep looking." Like this you remain truthful and don't put a 'label' on yourself or come out either.

    As for the girl you are having a crush on, it is going to take a bit of time for you to be able to move on. I wouldn't ask her point blank, unless you want to reveal to her that you saw her making out with another girl. Waiting for her to come to you would be a better option. In the meantime, try to hang out with other friends, and make some new friends, which should allow you to start the process of moving on. Is there a LGBT youth support group in your community or at your school? If so, maybe consider joining one. You can also join an activity at your local community centre or at school. The more you keep yourself busy and keep your mind distracted with you new things the better you will be able to move on from the crush.

    If you have to, create some distance, which might mean not spending as much time together, and placing some of the things that remind you of her out of sight for now.

    Hope this helps a bit.