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OK, I need help...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by FinallyOut22, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. FinallyOut22

    Regular Member

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    I got out of a 3yr relationship in july, I have been to different clubs and bars since then. I know it may not be the ideal place to meet a guy but I didn't have any other gay friends at that point. I came out in Sept to my family.Anyways, I have had several guys (most that I thought were "out of my league") come talk to me at the club. I went on a few different dates. Didnt really connect with any of them. Then Nov 26th I was there and this guy with these 2 girls was standing in my spot in the club. So I stood behind them, after a bit the guy started casual conversation with me, he was very attractive so naturally I was interested, but as the night went on he had me having the best time ever at the club. We danced and kissed and just had fun. We exchanged numbers at the end of the night, he lives like an hour away with his grandparents. We stayed in touch over the next few weeks sparingly, occasional heys and wanna hang outs, but he canceled every time. I was ready to give up when he finally was like lets hangout on a Thursday night, we did. And we ended up at some guys house that night and layed together on the floor(no sex). We hung out the following week on Wednesday night and had a blast, he went home so did I. I spent the whole New Years Eve and weekend with him, we had fun slept n boxers together n I could have gotten sex I just didnt want it cause he keeps saying we are friends talking. This past weekend we spent Friday and Saturday night together, Friday night we did do oral, cause he was like its been a month I think its time. Anyways to Sum everything up, I asked him last night if we are a couple yet he says he is still deciding, its driving me crazy. He has introduced me to all his closest friends and many different ones, not to the family yet cause his grandfather passed away Monday after New Years so it was hard on him. I have told him how much I care about him and how much I want the title of being his boyfriend but he still doesnt budge, he text me things like "I miss you baby" and "I wish you were here beside me baby" and even things as far fetched as I cant wait til we get married lol... What do you guys think, am I just being stupid, should I wait until he decides or rudh him more or what... I absolutely am going crazy over this. I think about him 24/7 I lose sleep over him, I cant concentrate at work cause Im thinkn about him. I never felt this way before even in my 3yr relationship. Im usually so independent this stuff I could brush off, but not now. PLEASE HELP>>>>>> :bang:
     
  2. Mystery

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    I don't know the whole situation. I'd have to be there and see it to know for sure but by what you've said, It sounds like he's playing a game called hard to get. And I think he's winning. I don't think you're being stupid. I think it's human nature to have the time of your life with somebody and want to continue to be with them. And I can tell you (from personal experience) I believe this kind of thing hits independent people a whole lot harder and it sucks. But if he IS playing this game, you have nothing to worry about and if I were you, I'd play along. Try canceling on him once or twice and maybe try making like you're indifferent about the whole thing and turn the tables a little bit. Hope this helps.
     
  3. FinallyOut22

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    I have thought about that too Misery. I may try that, I am worried he will be like fine and move on. But if he does then I guess it wasn't meant to be anyways. His friends told me about several of his ex's saying that they were kinda flamboyant, that is the opposite of me, they said he caught his other ex's cheating on him too. Saying he has a trust issue, but like his friends has told him they think we are perfect for each other. Like everywhere we hangout people always say we are a cute couple. So maybe a little more tim, or I could try your advice too....see what I am saying it is driving me insane lol