I happened upon this thread while I was searching for support sites, so I'm new here. I have two questions though. From you guys' (or girls') personal experiences: 1. Is it common to want to come out to a "straight" crush? & 2. Why the hell are straight crushes so common??? (I literally thought I was unique with this whole thing until I did a simple search on Google.)
1. Yes. When you have a crush on someone you frequently want to spill your life story to them. We want to be intimate with our crushes, and that includes being far more open with them than with other people. 2. We crush on the people around us. If there's more straight people in your social circles than gay people, you're more likely to crush on a straight person than a gay one.
And, after all, it's not as though you're crushing on their sexuality. An attractive person with a good personality is still an attractive person with a good personality regardless of their sexuality. Though I'd definitely add a few points if they were gay, straight crushes get so taxing after a while :dry:.
I'll add that crushing on a straight friend falls under the category of "convenience crushing". If you're in the closet, you have two big steps in front of you to get in a relationship - coming out, then the boy/girlfriend search. But you could skip BOTH of those steps just by hooking up with your straight (or IS s/he?!) friend. Lex
I will also add that sometimes, unconsciously, we crush on someone who is "safe" (i.e., unavailable). This happens when we have a fear of being emotionally close or intimate with someone , and ensures that we have no chance of having to become emotionally close to the person we're crushing on. So crushing on a straight guy would be one example. A variation of that is crushing or falling in love with someone who is on the other side of the country, or someone who doesn't love us back, or someone who, themselves, is emotionally unavailable. But all the other possibilities are just as valid, and often more common. If you do find yourself consistently crushing on someone who is unavailable for one reason or another, then it's worth exploring the idea that you may be afraid of being in a relationship.
Oh, God keep "straight crushes" away from me=(... And it is not that "straight crushes" are common...IMO, a crush is a crush, and crushes are common everywhere in the world...
Maybe there is some truth to this in my case. Technically, I'm still in the closet. My first straight crush was on a childhood friend. I told him last year that I was confused about my sexuality and that I had a crush (felt more like an obsession) on him. He's the only that knows. Surprisingly, he took it really well. We had always been close and comfortable around each other, enough to hug, tell each other, "I love you", sleep over each other's house. Kinda felt like family actually. When I told him the truth, he said he wasn't a "gay-basher", and he loves me no matter what. The funny thing is that once I told him the truth, the attraction I felt for him suddenly went away, like a huge weight. I still love him of course, but without the crush. Now I'm having these same types of feelings for another friend I met in college, and it's killing me. I guess the only difference is that I've always known that my childhood friend was straight. I'm not so sure about my college friend. Even if he wasn't straight, I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel anything whatsoever for me, but I still find myself crushing on him. I feel like I want to be honest with him as well, but I don't think our friendship would survive it.
Oh God, I have 2 horrible straight crushes. They're so cute, great personality and 100% "MY TYPE"....and they're straight. They're the worst crushes as you know there is no chance. You'll hang out together and want to kiss them good night as you leave and then realize that wouldn't go over so well. Meh.
Funny, it was after two crushes on lesbians (I actually had no idea they had dated, or even liked girls), and then on a straight friend, that I realized I had to start coming out. But I think mostly it's that they're around, and if you haven't many gay friends, and you like boys, you'll end up having a crush on one of your straight friends eventually. And normal too to want to come out, to them as much as any. In the case above, I knew I wanted him to be one of the first to know, partly so he wouldn't guess there was a reason I hadn't told him.
If you're from a conservative town like I am, you might not even know anyone who is openly out as gay. I'm the only even halfway out lesbian in my entire school, so all of my crushes so far have been on straight girls. Which sucks, but I'm pretty sure it's fairly common.
That is another excruciating and painful thing... My Town is the same... I think there are like 4 Gay ppl... and I don't talk to any of them.lol
1. If you're out to other people, then telling him that much seems fine. But telling him you have a crush on him if you're sure he's straight, then I don't see the point in that part. 2. The crushes are so common because most guys you see are straight. Also, some guys who are gay or bi will pretend to be straight (or haven't realized it yet). So your gaydar is pinging, but he won't admit it. Personally, I'm sick of hot straight guys. All the hot guys I know are straight or "str8"
