Hi guys. I was looking at some it gets better videos, crying might I add, and I started to think back to my childhood growing up. Like many of you, I was bullied A LOT throughout school for being different from a lot of kids. But unlike a lot of you, I was a bit of a bully myself. I never physically bullied anyone, but oh the words were there. I dont remember some of the things I said, but I do remember this one time I said something to this girl I was chatting with in class about this one boy. Somehow somebody in the class heard me, and that boy got 2 of his cousins to go off on me lol. I deserved it big time. But anyways, I saw him on facebook and I was thinking about friending him and apologizing for being one of the many people he had to deal with in school that called him names. And I know he had to deal with a ton of it. I just feel really bad because I don't know him like that, but I'm pretty sure he is gay, but even if he wasnt, he had to deal with a lot of bullying because I witnessed some of it. So should i friend him and apologize? I'm kinda afraid that I would end up outing my own self to him and him taking revenge on me by telling all of our classmates. I'm still not out to a lot of people and I hate for my business to be out in the streets without me putting it there if you know what I mean. Thoughts?
I'd say aplogize to him, but unless he says he's interested in guys or has it listed on his facebook, don't bother outing yourself. I doubt that he would "get revenge" because I'm sure that if he was this badly bullied he's loving life outside of high school and has no plans on going back to that world.
I would apologize to him. It'd make you feel better, settling unsettled business I suppose. And you don't want to regret it when you're way older. My teacher, when he was a new teacher, accidentally offended a student, and it's been years, and he SUPER wishes he could go back to that student and apologize to her. If he did, lots of healing would ensue, I bet. So yeah, apologize to him, let him know you've changed : ) I made friends once with people who were bullying me, and then I seriously let them knew it was bothering me, and then they felt bad, and then it turns out that we got along well, so we became friends XD. So just apologize, it can only be positive, I feel. I doubt he'd go get revenge now, when it's been years. You apologizing after all this time would show him that you truly are sorry. And there's no need to hint about you being gay to him, until you guys potentially perhaps become good friends : )
Ok minor update, I just messaged him and told him in a sorta lengthy paragraph that I was sorry and that I hope he can forgive me for being a bully that day. I honestly dont believe he will remember me. But funny thing is, I hope we become cool because i was just looking at some of his pics and hes really cute. And judging by the pics, I believe he is gay. I'll let you guys know how he responds, if he responds at all.
He responded back, and said he accepts! He was really nice and said that he doesn't remember that incident, but that he said even though all that stuff probably hurt then, it made him a stronger person. I am now totally attracted to him and want to get with him lol. Probably not gonna happen, but im gonna try! lol
That's great! One of my friends, in his mid-20s, got a Facebook message out of the blue from a guy that bullied and beat up on him endlessly in high school. The guy apologized, acknowledged that he is gay and was venting his internalized self-hatred, and they have since become friends. It takes a lot to own up to events like that and I admire you for doing so. If nothing else, hopefully you'll develop a nice friendship out of the deal
Lol I think this can turn into more than a friendship. He said he wouldnt have a problem with me trying to get with him. Now im scared out of my fuckin mind!!! I dont think im ready for any type of relationship just yet, but this boy is one that I might not want to pass up. Im so insecure about myself that I may ruin it, somebody help please???
I'm glad you sent the message and appologized to him. It takes a person with a big heart to do this. As far as a relationship, take it slow. Maybe just try being friends, get to know him and see what happens.
It's great that you messaged him and apologized for bullying him in hightschool. It would mean a lot to me if the people who have been bullying me do the same. And as for the relationship part, I think you should relax. This guy seems to be nice, why don't you just try to get to know him better first. You haven't seen each other in a while, and it seems you were not exactly close back to hightschool. Maybe just try to reconnect and create new bonds. If it turns out he is interesting in a relationship it would be great, if not, you'll have made a new friend wich would be great too. Take care, Cécile
