So Friday night at work was interesting to say the least. Just a note to add, since I have been comfortable in my sexuality I think its starting to show a bit. So on to Friday night. I was talking with a co-worker and my boss. Co-worker-straight and married, my boss- openly gay, me- I got room in my closet wana join me? Anyhow we were talking about past and future vacations and I mentioned that I love California and when I go back I want to go to San Fransisco. My boss says "Really? San Fransisco, why?" Co-Worker:"why not San Fransisico" Boss: "Well its like the gay hub of the US" Me: "Maybe so but I understand San Fransisco has some of the best food spots around" ^This is why I want to go to San Fran, the huge Gay community is just an added bonus. Boss: "Ya I suppose" Me: "Besides If someone went on vacations to meet gay people why don't they just go to Fire Island" My bosses mouth hit the floor. The look of shock was unreal. Boss: "How do you know about Fire Island" This continued for a bit about what and how I know about said location. He mentioned that he lived in NY and has never been and the fact that I know about it sparks a bit of curiosity. So, later on in the night my boss continues to ask about why I want to go to San Fran. blah blah blah. Then out of no where another coworker, single straight guy walks up behind me, stands real close, puts his hand on my shoulder and says nothing. He turns around and as he is walking away he says "ooo ya hes gay" Now, why he came up with that analysis Im not too sure. Maybe because of my lack of reaction. Whatever, I dont really know. I dont see them again until next friday and Im a bit worried of how the night is going to go. Not that Im concerned about them knowing it just seems like it was a really quick thing to happen. Well thats my story. I hope you laughed like I did when I was typing it.
Ill be honest, I have no helpful advice, but hell yeah thats gaydar well, honestly, I suggest, as long as you dont want to tell them or anyone, just dont really bring any reason up, and if anything starts, you can almost always use good humor, or something..
I would say your boss knows. Especially with the Fire Island comment. I would just go with it and not worry about it. How do your other coworkers treat you gay boss? If they treat him fine, don't worry about it. Before I came out fully at work, I mentioned about going to Provincetown and the A-House. They knew, didn't say much but they knew. All was fine in the end.
When i was in a simmilar situation i knew that the other three straight guys had practicaly guessed but were looking for something to confirm it.I had already decided to let them know,but it was a fun few days leaving them guessing,eventualy one came up like in your situation and said "im sure he is now",so i turned to them and said "well actualy my gaydar has never been as good as yours,maybe you could give me a few tips,i never realised you swing both ways".The reaction from the other two was so funny we all ended up having a laugh. Coming out as a conformation or doing it in a light hearted way always seems to work best for me as it seems to be out and over with,whereas if i make a special announcment it often seems to get more reaction and questions.My point is to let them know im gay,i dont question them on thier sex life and dont think they need to know about mine.
I mean its not a huge deal. Everyone seems like they would be ok with it. The thing I don't want is them asking 9 zillion questions. Other than that I don't care much whether they know of my orientation or not.
Then don't worry about it unless they start asking questions. If they do, just politely say you don't wanna answer questions about it or talk about it.
I have thought about this recently. Mainly because I know a lot of people will ask me "how do you know you're gay". I really don't want to got into the long personal story of how I finally figured out I was gay (after 16years of marriage, if u didn't know). I finally decided in myself that it was okay to not tell my story to everyone. "I know you're curious, but how I found out is a very personal thing which I don't like sharing". Come up with your own "line" to use to deflect those questions, keep it handy in your back pocket.
This could work. And I side note I do know your story and find it well just awesome. Actually some of what you have posted in the past has been rather uplifting.
