How exactly does one do it? I cant seem to stop myself... Something happens and I think "oh it's my fault" or a guy doesn't like me, it's "oh I'm ugly" and I don't know what to do, I'm seeing a therapist and thEy aren't really helping much... And yeah idk... It's gotten to the point where I feel like friends not replying to my text messages right away makes me feel like it's a Personal thing... And I get super sad and want to cry and feel worthless and Idk how to stop... It's like my mind has a mind of it's own...
You need to start focusing on yourself I think. Start developing skills and accomplish things that you can base your self-confidence on. Learn an instrument, write a story, work out a lot, play a new sport, try out for a play, or whatever YOU want. Self-confidence has absolutely nothing to do with the other people in your life. Find ways to improve yourself, find something you're passionate about, and you'll have more reasons to respect yourself. You just need something to be confident about! In my opinion hard work is the best way to earn respect from yourself. If you learn to respect yourself and be confident, a guy like me wouldn't give a crap if you were ugly! Good luck!
Hey man, I hear ya. I used to have this way of thought as well. One of the things that I have spent a lot of time working on being my own person. What that means to me is always being myself, and liking myself. When I dont operate that way, I always end up comparing myself to others and wondering what's wrong with "me". But, if I am always true to myself, and happy with myself, I find that I don't compare myself and wonder what's wrong with me when little things happen. And you know what? If they do, at least I know I was honest with myself and others, and if people dont like that, then that's ok! That's why people with all their differences are so great-everyone is their own person, and if some dont gel well, then that's just fine. And, once you get ok with yourself, you will notice your self confidence naturally. I think it all comes from within. It's not about how to change yourself, or rise to others' expectations. Its about being you and being happy with that-from there its all natural. Anyhow, that's just my own expericne/opinion so I hope this helps in some way. But my main advice is, never sell out to other people (not that I'm implying you are or will!), its just that I have experienced trying to wonder what's wrong with me when people dont like me, or I just THINK that they dont like me. The end result was always me looking at my actions and not liking how I carried myself. When I do what's natural to me, all's good in the hood. All the best!
If your therapist isn't working for you, tell him (or her, or zie) and discuss what is and isn't working for you. You may end up deciding that you need a new therapist, or your current therapist may be able to change what their doing so that it does something for you. I left my last therapist because he wasn't helping me at all and found a new one who works great for me, you can do the same!
Yup. Personal accomplishments form the defining foundation stones of self-respect upon which self-confidence can rest easy.
