Hey all of you faceless people! Nice seeing(?) you. Okay. Well, I'm at a point where I really don't think I have any other option than to tell my mom. I can't even stand being around the house anymore knowing I'm hiding this from her, but at the same time, I'm petrified every time I try to say it. She knows something's up; she has been asking me what's bothering me, but I just can't say it. I've literally been locking myself in my room every night, refusing dinner, and staying awake all night, just because I can't get the guilty feeling off my mind. Right now, It is just me and her in the house until Thursday. My dad is on business, and my sister is at college. And I haven't said 10 words in 5 hours. I mean, I just don't know how to do it! If she cries, I'll feel terrible. If she yells, I'll end up losing it and yelling back, and if she ignores it, I'll probly end up locking myself in my room until next week. The only way I can tell her is if she can realize how difficult this is for me and not turn it on herself, and I just have no idea how to do it. I just really need to know if anybody else thinks I should do it or not before I go out there... because the voice in my head says it's a terrible idea, but I also feel like I can't function in my own home anymore. I'm out to all my close friends, and if my mom didn't work in my school, I think I would be entirely out there, because I'm done pretending I'm something other than I am. It's not that I want to go screaming it through the halls, but I don't want to deny it either or tell my friends that it needs to stay a huge secret, because it makes me look like I'm ashamed of myself. Seriously... Just somebody say anything... please.
Here is my "two cents". Being gay is really no one else's business except your own. So, if you want her to know, tell her. If you don't want her to know then don't. The problem with not being able to function in your own house, its also something I've experienced. But know that that has nothing really to do with you being gay either. Its about how you spend time with your family (or a lack of spending time) and do fun stuff together (or a lack thereof as well). Right now, you are in a panic because of two separate distressful conditions collapsing together. Separate these two issues and solve each one with calm.
How you tell her will probably determine her reaction. I freaked out and started acting all serious, and she ended up crying her eyes out, though that may have happened anyway. You just don't want a huge build up. Get it out quick. She won't react how you think, mine sure didn't, but she'll still love you after. Mine sure does. It's weird because I was in your shoes less than 2 months ago... Good luck!
In all of these things that you are feeling, please make sure it is the right time for you. As much as you're anticipating her reaction, you want to make sure you're in the right frame of mind as well. And if you're feeling absolutely sure, then go for it, and keep the most open mind you can. If not, then don't be afraid to reassess. Best of luck.
When I did it, I said it fast and with my eyes closed. I could have done this driving and felt more at ease than saying "I'm gay" in front of my parents. They were both shocked into silence for a moment, but they told me that whatever makes me happy is fine with them and that being gay or straight is not something they consider with their love. I vote to do it. I think you will feel better knowing. But remember, like a nice hot bath, you can't just plop right in, you have to ease in. You need to allow your mother a little time to get used to the idea. Don't expect her to automatically be fantastic with it right off the bat. Like, you, she'll need time adjusting too. But if she is anything like my parents, who I was almost certain were going to hate me for it, she'll still love you just the same.
Haha, I told her. She's in denial but is otherwise really cool about it. Thanks everyone for the advice though. Thing is I DID need to tell her, and there was no time to post back here if I was going to catch her in time... Anyway, I'll eventually put something in the proper forum saying how it went.... it was more odd than I even expected. But NOW, she is telling me to just do my physics homework and get to bed... Dear old mom...
Well, she didnt yell or faint. She just needs some time to get used to it. I'm sure everything will be great in no time. After I told my parents, we've never been closer. That big weight that you feel pressing down just disappears and it's a wonderful feeling.
