Age gap

wat!!!?? a pyshco? hav u actually met him yet?? or u 2 still talk on the phone??

 

Hey Cloud Nine 5, just be careful. Like I know I'm heaps younger than you, and like I don't have much experience and stuff, but I was in the same spot like a year ago. The guy was a lot older - like I was 12 and he was 40+, but I was really sucked in a bit, and it was only listening to the guys here that made me think about it. Oh and please don't think I am saying any bad stuff about ur guy, I'm just saying what happened with me.

I only met him a few times and I still don't know what he wanted - like he seemed to just want to be friends. But he said stuff about how hot I must be with chix and other stuff that made me feel not nice. So I don't see him nemore.

So like I said, just be careful. And I know ur probably bigger than me but still u better get to know him really well before ur alone with him. Just my 2p worth! :icon_bigg

 

Well, I don't really see a problem with age gaps if you're careful, especially since 18 to 28 isn't really that big of a gap anyway. But, I would wait until you're 18 before having sex (assuming that's the age of consent in your area, if it's 16, fire away), just to avoid any possible complications. You never know... and if it is really soon, I bet the time will pass quickly.

 

o cloud i dotn think u shud bother wiv him u shud b careful

 

I don't think that kind of age gap is that big a deal... If you're actually chatting with him on the phone or online, and you seem to hit it off, then I think it would be great to meet in public.

My only word of caution - don't get your hopes up too high. You might meet in person and he gives you the creeps - which would be a big disappointment.

Ok - two words of caution. Also decide up front, before you meet (either with yourself, or in fact in discussion with him) how much you are and are NOT going to do on your first meeting. Even if he's totally hot - and I have my fingers crossed for you - you should decide before you even see him that you're only going to have a coffee, and if you like him, give him a hug (and maybe a kiss!) goodbye. And stick to that! It's easier to do if you've made that clear before you meet him. If you think that he might be 'relationship' material, there's no need to rush into anything the first time you get together. It will leave you both wanting more the next time, or you'll be glad you didn't go farther because he ends up being another psycho...

Does that make sense? Anyone else have suggestions?

 

dont worry about the age gaps, if you think or know u can/do love him then thats all that matters. and thats it, there shudnt be any other masjor factors involving relationships.

and if your planning to meet up then dont do it light heartedly and just organise it if you dont truly want to, theres nothing forcing you to. and then plan to meet in afew months, if the guy can wait that long and when tht time comes then u will find that the guy that does wait will be better than any of those you arranged to meet up with quite soon. unless u spend a while gettin to know sum1 you do not truly know sum1 and if you will be attracted to them. there will be the occasion that you meet sum1 that you like instantly, but even then meet up atleast 2 weeks later and talk to them ALOT before you do meet up, communication is key and dont think that u have 2 talk in person to get to know sum1 better online or the phone can be nearly as good and meeting in real life will just add the physical factor, ie bein able to touch eaotha.

i know tht i did meet up with a guy 2 weeks 3 days after we first spoke on here but i had spoke to him 4+ hours a day, everyday and by then i did know him pretty well. we were even arranging to meet up in january first to give us some extra time but hes goin south africa, well gone today, and we wanted to meet up before then and i can honestly say it was the best day of my life.

 

Well, if you think he is too weird or if you dont feel comfortabl or he buggung you to much, tell him to stop

And about age gap, it is not a big deal in teh society now, being younger sometimes dose benefit you alot, you can be protected from the older, you can l;earn things from them cuz they are more experieneced

It dosent matter if you two truely in love, but sometimes cuz different ages have different opinions about things you know

 

it shudnt say dont truly want to, the dont shudnt be there! and there shud be a but after the comma. i went and got a drink and forgot what i had wrote b4 lol

 

I dont see anything wrong with going out with someone 10 years older, it might be ackward at times, but love knows no limits. We love who we love and cant change that. So i say go for it. Its all a mater of what you feel is right. And its even better if he seems less older, then you have more to relate to.

 

When it comes to relationships, and as long as it's legal, age is just a number.

What I hate is when I go to a movie theater, buy a ticket from an 18 year old, only to have it torn apart by a 60 year old. O.O

 

I think age is just a number and it shouldn't matter how old they are!!

 

I think that if you meet this guy in a public place there is no problem. Older people can bring you a great deal of stability and help you form a steady relationship. Depends a bit on what you are looking for.

I was 17 when I met my first boyfriend of 28, divorced with 3 kids, we had a great 2 years together before I left to travel around Europe.

Age doesn't make much difference if you are both looking for the same thing. I would however try to define what you are looking for. Look deep within yourself and be brutally honest. If you really just want sex, so what go for it. Having said that gratuitous sex with a partner you don't love, even if there is mild attraction, can leave you feeling worse off than before, but that is just the way I feel about it.

If you really want a relationship then just take things easy, see how the land lies with this man, get a feel of what he is looking for and take it from there.

Good luck

 

I agree with the others here, especially Jim.

Meet somewhere public, just in case. Take it steady. Get to know him over a few meetings before you think about sleeping with him.

If it turns out that all he wants to do is get you into bed and is not interested in the getting-to-know-you bit, then maybe he isn't such a good bet as a potential boyfriend.

Of course if all you both want is sex and aren't interested in a relationship then it's a bit different, but it sounds like you are looking for more than just sex. I'm sure I don't need to remind you, but if/when you get to the sex bit make sure you play safe.

 

My personal standard is no more than two years younger or four older, but assuming you're comfortable with it I wouldn't say 18 and 28 is that egregious. Go with your own feelings, but temper them with thinking.

 

Just wondering if there's any particular reason why most of the guys you talk to are older than you are? Have you had bad experiences with people your own age or something?