Today, I thought it would be a good idea to kind of test myself. Instead of wearing the normal clothes that I would choose (shirt, a pair of jeans, and shoes, with normal undergarments of course), I ironed my shirt and jeans and wore the shirt inside the pants to look a bit more professional. Armed with a rather decent look, I wasn't expecting too much to happen to be honest. According to my phone, which I entered in what happened throughout the day, this is what I observed: "Guy told me "morning." (rather good looking). "Smiles abound from professors (and they treated me nice as well). A guy wanted to know if he and I had Meteorology class together. Another prof told me good morning, a girl smiled at me before my first class, got a girls number * :eek:" "Guy looked at me that was kind of cute." (relatively good looking). "Another guy wanted to know what was up as we walked the opposite way (I wanted to take him somewhere, he was really good looking :icon_wink)." * I got a girl's number today (I'm so cool), but really she was a friend that I caught up with (she mentioned her ex-boyfriend and she wanted to know my classes) and I think she meant it kind of flirtingly. I'm not going to send her a message or anything but it was odd to say the least. So, that's what happened. The guys were good looking for the most part and that's the negative of today; I think I might have looked condescending I just wanted to do something different. My question to you is (you all have the experience here) is how should I talk to guys? I am not sure what to do as far as that besides having a good look and letting ones "interested" talk to me. I don't want to look nice yet be a jerk, nor would I want to feel like a waste of space per se and not have a personality so this is something to deal with sooner rather than laters. Hopefully at least a guy or two will talk to me this semester but if they do not, I will treat today as a learning experience and remember that looks do matter in a professional sense. I just want my personality to shine through when talking to people regardless of sexuality and not use my body to get people interested in other things...... Thanks for any help in advance.
Hi there! Reading through your post, I can't but help think that you are focusing a bit too much on looks. Yeah, looks aren't everything, and concentrating too much on looks, one tends to forget that there is a whole bunch of other things that make a person who that person is. All you really need to do is to let your own personality come through. Allow others or give rather others the opportunity to learn about you and to see the qualities that you do have. You should never use your body "to get people interested in you." It is really about talking to people, and finding the right person or a couple of persons with whom you share something in common that will allow for a conversation and eventually a friendship to develop. How to talk to guys? Start with "Hi! I have seen you around in a couple of classes that we have together. Do you like the subjects or the classes?" "What are you studying?" Start with opening a simple conversation and set the emphasis on looks aside. It will make things a lot easier!
What I took from your post was that you dressed a little 'spiffier' and as a result you likely carried yourself with more confidence, able to look people in the eye and interact more. And as a result, you were able to notice people noticing you and you interacted more. Which is awesome. I'd keep doing that, if I were you. (Personaly, I like looking a little 'spiffier' than the average person. I'll tend to be a little over-dressed because that's how I like to look and I feel good in nice clothes.) All of that doesn't necessarily translate into meeting other gay guys and dating, but it's a good first step. You can't assume that guys that say hi or look at you are necessarily interested. They might be, and they might not be. That's where the conversation comes in. As Mirko suggested, it doesn't take anything more than a 'hi' back to get things started. Only once you get to know someone will you know whether or not you want to spend more time with them, and figure out whether they want to spend more time with you. Good luck!
Sounds like a good starting point so that's what I think I'll do. I went shopping today and got a decent shirt, and tomorrow I'll be out again so maybe I'll get another. I dislike standing out ("since when did college become a fashion show?" is what I think about it) but if I get a few glances 'and people actually talk to me, it is something I'll have to try again. Thanks for the help.
