I dont know what to do at this point. I've come out to my best friend who still isnt talking to me, and a few other good friends ( im NEVER going to tell my parents or grandparents or siblings) and i would tell other friends but everyone else in my town and more importantly my family and high school are complete homophobes. So it takes me back to my original question; should I stay invisible like ive always been or if i shouldnt how would i become more social?:help:
Right now, you are 14 years old, so you can afford to be invisible. I actually recommend it because you can force yourself to focus on your career development. Once you reach 20s, are independent, earning your own living, you can move out of the house and be who you want to be, and with good educational credentials too to get good jobs instead of crappy jobs.
Hi there! As hard as it might be, but given that your family and others could react negatively or not be in support and accepting of you, I think it would be advisable not to come out at this stage. Maybe begin the coming out process in earnest once you are financially independent and can support yourself and perhaps can also live and work in a place that is more accepting. It's unfortunate that your best friend has a hard time with it. But hopefully with time, and the realization that you haven't changed as a result of coming out, she will come around to it. (*hug*) To become more social you don't necessarily have to be out. Do you have any hobbies? I would try joining a club at school or an activity at the community centre that you enjoy and could allow you to get to know others. That could help you in becoming more social too.
My advice is to do the following: If you are surrounded by homophobes, there is no need to formally come out to all of them and paint a bullseye on your back at your age. You can be perfectly sociable without having to be "the gay kid". ^ This. I never advise anyone to come out if they are in a homophobic environment and are not financially independent. Take it from someone who was disowned when they came out - it's a lot better in the worst case scenario if you're capable of paying your own bills and taking care of yourself. Like Zera and Mirko, I recommend that you pick up some extracirricular activities (like school clubs) and focus on strong academics and what you want to do with your career. If you do those things you will have a breeze in college and that's when you can kick your social life into a higher gear with greater success, because there will be a lot more gay people out that you know of at university, so it'll be easier to socialize in those circles. Good luck!
