1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I feel so alone...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Airplanes, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. Airplanes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This is mostly just some feelings I need to get off my chest.

    Since my family is extremely religious and all of my friends are the same way as well, I just feel like I have no one to talk to. I know I have people I can talk to on EC that have the same problems as I do, but its not the same as having someone to talk to that is right beside me, ya know? I just feel like if I could tell one person, I would feel better, but that won't happen anytime soon.

    I hear anti-gay remarks from my family and friends on a daily basis. Most often we (I put that because I know I am gay) are called filthy, disgusting human beings by them. That really frightens me because one day I do want to come out, but I know my life will change for the better, but also for the worse. Better in the fact that I will be able to live my life freely as I want it, but worse also because I will be disowned by my family, and my friends will stop wanting to spend time with me.

    I can cope though, since I've been doing it by myself for 4 years.
    EC has helped me tremendously though, so I love all you guys out there! (*hug*)
    I don't think I could have gotten through these last few weeks without the support of all the wonderful people here. (&&&)
     
  2. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! I'm sorry to hear that you have to hear homophobic remarks on a daily or constant basis. (*hug*)

    Even though coming out is not an option at this point, try to broaden your circle of friends as much as possible. I'm sure you will come across at least one person who will be accepting and supportive. Maybe make it your mission to find that one person with whom you can talk about things.

    Once you are financially independent and have a job or are off to college/university, you probably will be able to live your life the way it is meant to be.

    I'm glad that EC has helped you. Take in all the support that you get from EC. (*hug*)
     
  3. Moonstrike

    Moonstrike Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2010
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

    Thats a very touching post. Its sad that some of those who are close to us can be so ignorant about certain things.
     
  4. Pepsi

    Pepsi Guest

    I'm so sorry to hear that you don't have anyone you feel you can trust. Does your school perhaps have a gsa you could get to without raising any flags to any friends? Or perhaps a counselor you could speak to that you would feel safe sharing with? As Mirko said, it may be wise to try and meet as many new people as possible. Also, remember that if you ever need someone to talk to EC is always here.
     
  5. V128

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's inspiring to hear that you are coping with it all, especially when amongst such adversity.

    When I was little I was a little terror, apparently. My Mom and my brother didn't think I would ever become a good kid. I was hyper and quite the little imp. My Mom said that she wasn't sure she'd ever really like me, but she would always love me. Those are the comforting words that I can give you concerning your parents. In spite of what they might say if you should come out to them, they will love you. That's what parents do. You don't have to like what they say or how they treat you, but somewhere inside they will always love you.

    Stay strong!!!!!!! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Airplanes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks guys! (*hug*)

    As for broadening my circle of friends, I really don't have that chance. I'm already graduated from homeschooling, so the only friends I have are the ones that my parents like lol. :dry:

    But I'll figure something out. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there!

    What about the local community centre and joining some activity where you could meet some other people as well?
     
  8. Airplanes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I was thinking I could try that, but its a long shot since my parents are so strict and completely and utterly annoying. I'll give it shot though. :eusa_danc
     
  9. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Go for it, when you get the chance. :slight_smile:

    Just wondering actually, have you come out to any of friends thus far?
     
  10. Airplanes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Only 2 people I know well know, and they are online. :/
    No one in my real life does though.
     
  11. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you need to, you can also talk to them for support. It's not the same as you have mentioned before, but at least it will give you bit of a sense that someone is listening when you need to talk or just want to get something off your chest.

    But hopefully you will be able to get to know someone in real life soon who will sit beside you when you need to talk. (*hug*)
     
  12. Airplanes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Definitely, they are great and super supportive. :slight_smile:
    I know for sure one day I will, but until then I'm content with the awesome people here. (*hug*)
     
  13. Eleanor Rigby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    Hey (*hug*) I'm glad EC is helpful for you. However, I understand that sometimes you feel like talking in person to someone about what you're going through.
    When you feel like this, maybe you can try calling a helpline. The people who answer those helpline are here to listen and trying to help. I know it's not exactly like being able to open up to a friend, but sometimes, just having another human beings to listen to you and to support you is enought to make things better.
    Take care (*hug*) Cécile
     
  14. Airplanes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks Mrs Rigby, I'll keep that in mind! (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 5th Feb 2011 at 04:50 PM ----------

    Oops, my smiley turned into a frown! xD
     
  15. Eleanor Rigby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    (*hug*) fixed :wink:

    take care :slight_smile:
     
  16. Ianthe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,760
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    I have two pieces of advice:

    1. Get involved in the arts. Painting, writing, theater, whatever. The arts are full of eccentric people who are gay friendly, due to being such oddballs themselves. And queers of all stripes. Many gays in the arts, for real. If you get involved in the arts, you are sure to meet someone safe to tell, probably relatively quickly.

    2. Be a safe person to tell, yourself. Disagree with anti-gay opinions, and disapprove of anti-gay comments. Support gay rights. People are more likely to take gay-friendly positions if they don't have to be the only one, which will help you figure out if anybody is safe to tell, and, additionally, if anyone you know is gay as well, you will be an obvious person to come out to.