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proposal to girlfriend is destroying me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Craigm, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. Craigm

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    West Yorkshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    My best friend who his str8 is proposing to his girlfriend tomorrow whilst they away on a romantic weekend. i should be happy for him after all he is my best mate....problem! i love him. he knows i am gay and he knows i have feelings for him. i am having to come to terms with controlling my feelings which i obviously find difficult, i see him nearly everyday. he told me last week that he is going to ask his girlfriend to marry him - i smiled and said was happy for him...has destroyed me is like i have lost him for good even thou i knew he was someone i could never be with.
     
  2. Eleanor Rigby

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    You haven't lost him. What you've lost is the illusion that it's going to be possible for him to return you your feelings one day.
    I know it's not an easy situation and I know this is very painful for you, but be sure that one day you'll find the right guy for you.
    Until then, maybe distance yourself a bit from your friend. If he know how you feel about him, he's going to understand.
    (*hug*) Cécile
     
  3. johny5000

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    Oh I'm sorry to hear that, have you seen "my best friend's wedding", I think it has a great message, and it applies in your case.
    Don't be sad (*hug*)
     
  4. zeratul

    zeratul Guest

    We all have reasons for our choices in life. If you cannot let him go and be free and happy, then chase after him. But do not blame others if any consequences shall befall you for the choice you will make.
     
  5. Lexington

    Full Member

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    I think Cecile has nailed it. The pain is from the death of the fantasy that you've nurtured for so long. That buried "maybe someday he'll come around" thought you've had. Let it die. Mourn it if you want. Take some time apart so you can reassess your relationship, and resume it once more as you're supposed to be - platonic friends.

    Lex