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Straight guy...again...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gaius, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. gaius

    gaius Guest

    Do you ever hit a point where you stop falling for straight guys, who deep down you know are straight, but have done something to make you wonder if they are gay?
    As an example, an American friend of mine is poster boy attractive, pretty much my ideal boyfriend in terms of personality, everyone thinks he's gay even though he says he's not...I'll stop my rant there.
    The problem is we're really good friends and that's all it can be... and it kills me. Last night in a bar he gave me a jokey kiss while we were dancing with friends, and as he pulled away from me, the slightly drunken confident nothing can go wrong side wanted to grab him and pull him back for another. Thankfully my, other more sensible instincts took over but i hate having to force laughter afterwards as if me wanting him is some kind of joke.
    Straight people don't get this problem, they see someone and then make a move, and if your personality and ok, looks aren't right then no big deal you just say no and move on. But you are never treated like a joke, like some toy to be played with for kicks, which is how i felt last night.

    Does anyone else have this problem, where someone is "Too" comfortable with your sexuality?
     
  2. Lexington

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    Not for me, mainly because I don't fall for straight guys. Never have. I don't know if it's a defense mechanism or what, but I never get that make-my-heart-beat-faster feeling around them. The most that happens is thinking "Wow, if he were gay, I could really go for him", and maybe they become what I call "fantasy fuel". And if they ever start pushing past boundaries like hugging excessively or grabbing my ass, I just smile and say "Don't let your arms/hands write checks your ass can't cash." They usually laugh, and that's the end of that.

    Lex
     
  3. gaius

    gaius Guest

    what i really need of course is a boyfriend! then i wouldn't have time to fall for pretty american boys!
     
  4. InaRut

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    Pretty American Boys. Pffft. See a Canadian, we're bred better up here.
    >_> What? It's geographical sibling rivalry. I'm sorry.

    Okay, joking aside, I am one who OFTEN has this problem. I.E I think in terms of my love life, if they like me, I don't like them. If I like them, they don't like me (or are straight).

    My one friend is much like the friend you described previously. He's pretty damn comfortable with his sexuality but I also was the one to help him find his girlfriend. Eitherway, when I do get straight crushes, I've learned to accept people as saying, "I'm straight" as the ultimate turn off. It's just something you got to wire your brain to do.

    Sometimes it's good just to have that kind of friend too. Although restrictive, take pride in the attention. Still if you can't deal, then you've got to tell him to lay off, seeing as you don't find it very fair.

    I know it sucks but you just gotta believe in dopplegangers and that his gay double is floating around just waiting for you.
     
  5. tylerzane69

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    i constantly fall for the str8 boys... with me i think its because im afraid of commitment and falling for a str8 boy you dont end up worrying about it, but now that i want a relationship i have still fallen for someone who hasnt decided what they feel whether gay or str8... so i dont think you ever get passed who you fall for no matter what, if your attracted to them and you feel a connection your likely to fall for them no matter what.. trust me i wish i fell for someone who was comfortable or at least knew who they wanted to be with...
     
  6. kv88

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    I've seen it happen before to my friend who took it the wrong way and obsessed on it way too much which lead to his heart to be broken.

    I've fallen for straight guys a lot! It was until last summer my friend told me "Why won't you go for gay guys that are your type and not straight guys?" Then it really hit me, that it would be unrealistic to have a straight guy fall in love with me and what not. Now I just see straight guys as eye candy rather than someone to pursue (which is a total waste of time!). Although at times I always wonder "That guy is cute, he must be gay!" lol. I say just always have that reality check when it comes to these situations, just say to yourself "He's straight, it will never happen."
     
  7. Cool25

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    I know how you feel about falling for a straight guy. It really sucks sometimes eh, but I'm keeping optimistic it will get better.