I kinda want to have a boyfriend

Go out and meet more people. The more people you meet, the more candidates will come your way.

Lex

 

i noticed your in ontario canada, are you located near a larger city? sometimes you can find gay youth groups and those are a good way to meet new people who have the same interests as you. i live on the michigan, ontario border and i know that Sault Ste Marie, Ontario has a couple gay groups on their college campuses and i believe its they are open to the community, you may also what to check into stuff like that, more than likely most of those guys will be to old for you but it would be a good foot in the door on finding resources in your community

 

>>>I'll try but I'm not much of a social butterfly( I usually don't get along with people XD)

Then that's what you have to work on. People don't go door-to-door looking for potential mates. You have to put yourself out there. And don't forget that relationships are two-way streets. Don't think solely in terms of "what he can do for you" - you also need to be aware of "what you can offer to him".

Lex

 

Wait... Do you mean to say there's a guy who (1) is gay, (2) talks to you on Facebook, and (3) is awkward around you in person? Like, he talks to you on Facebook, but then whenever he is actually physically in your presence, he just stands frozen, staring at you, and can't think of anything to say? :roflmao:

You know, that might be someone you should pay more attention to...

 

Well, first of all, is he someone you would be interested in?

Either way, it would probably be a good idea for you to be better friends with him. Whether or not he is gay, if he seems gay he is probably mistreated because of it, and you could provide each other with some support and friendship, if nothing else. (When you say it's "obvious," I assume you mean that he has noticeable feminine mannerisms. This makes it more likely that he's gay, but not certain.)

If you might be interested in him, you could try coming out to him and see what he says, and there are various other ways you could go about trying to figure out if he's gay. But really, you could also just skip all that, and just blatantly ask him on a date. (Start with a date; don't just try to jump directly to someone being your boyfriend.)

You don't have to be crazy in love or anything to ask him on a date. Dating is partly about finding out if you like someone.

Anyway, if you're going to ask him out, you can just say, "Hey, so, would you want to go out with me on Friday? I don't know if you're gay, but some people say you might be, so I thought I would try." If it's too hard to say this in person, you can do it via Facebook chat. This will save you a lot of agonizing trouble trying to figure out if he could be interested in you--he will say yes or no. (If he's busy on Friday--or whatever day you choose--ask him when he's free, and let him pick the day. "Busy" doesn't necessarily mean he's blowing you off.) If he says no, change the subject and talk about something else until you stop feeling uncomfortable. It's a good idea to have something in mind ahead of time, so you don't have to think of it on the spot.

 

Hmm. Well, just so you know, it's impossible to date a guy who doesn't know you're gay. Dating is going to have to involve coming out to people, at least a little. You asked for ways you can find a boyfriend on your own; the number one thing to do is to let other gay people know that you are gay.

I'd say definitely befriend him, and consider coming out to him, soonish.

(By the way: he's popular, and he gets all awkward and speechless around you? You've really got to look into this.)

 

Well, you said you have mutual friends--could you arrange to do something as a group, and he would be invited?

You could also just strike up conversation, about anything, or invite him to hang out with you and your friends after school. People are rarely offended when someone tries to make friends with them, and it won't matter even if it is kind of random. He's not going to assume that you like him like that just because you think he's cool and you want to hang out.

Do you know what he's good at? If there's something he's particularly good at, you could ask him for help with it. (This would also flatter him, and seemingly put you in his debt, both of which will make him feel good about himself--and people like people who make them feel good about themselves. Asking for help with things is a very effective way of making friends. Make sure to thank him if he helps you, though, even if you didn't really need it.)

Could you have a party and invite him?

 

Your bestii knows you're gay? If so, enlisting her help should be easy (and also really fun for her, a lot of girls really like things like this).

Even if she can't have a party, she could easily invite you both to do something with a few other people after school, or on the weekend. (A few other people so that she can talk to the other people, and not feel awkward and in the way if you and this guy get to talking.)

Definitely find out from her what he's good at. Also find out what he's most interested in--what subjects does he feel like an expert about? Even if it's not something you can ask him for help with, if you can talk to him about a subject he can get excited about, he'll have a good time talking to you.

Is your bestii one of the people who says he's gay? Does she think he might be?