attracted to younger men but can't act on it!!

Every once in a while I'll be standing behind someone in line, or get on an elevator with someone, and would love to just run my fingers through the hair on the back of their head, or grab their cute butt! Somehow I restrain myself though!

 

As long as you know where the boundaries lie...just remember "love" and "lust" are very different...

 

Just keep in mind that to act on these feelings could have very serious consequences. As TriBi pointed out, know your boundaries.

 

Remember: at work, you must act professional. Regardless of how attractive anyone is, from age 17 to age 77, work is work. Attraction is fine, but don't act on it. The men will be (understandably) freaked out and you'll be most likely fired or charged with sexual harassment. If you can talk to your spouse about it, do so. She probably understands you more than you think and can help you more than a stranger.

 

No offense, but I am a little uncomfortable with an adult posting about their attractions to a minor.

 

im sorry, but i find that comment incredibly rude.
this guy came here to the support and advice section to find just that, support and advice.i just think its a little unnecessary to post something like that.
its not any way to make someone feel comfortable with asking for help.
and its nice that paul was comfortable enough to post something like this to share with us asking for our help.
on this site (or anywhere) we should never discourage someone in asking for help.


paul, in life there are alot of things we want to do but we cant.
like the rollling stones said "you cant always get what you want" hah.
im sure these feelings bother you, but, especially at work you cant act on them.
we sure wouldnt want you getting in trouble over something like that.

good luck and best wishes.

 

No offence, but I think you should consider people's feelings more. Paul wrote very honestly about his attractions to lots of people, and not just towards teens.

I just think it sucks that society is so judgmental about older gays, like anyone who finds someone younger attractive is not automatically a paedo. And it is very unfair that age difference is such a big deal. Like someone else wrote, someone who is young didn't do anything wonderful to be young, and someone who is old didn't do anything bad to be old. And older guys can be hott too. Like, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I often go for my shower late so I can see the older boys. :icon_redf

 

I don't have a problem w/ older guys liking younger guys, but admitting to having attractions to someone under the legal age is a little inappropriate to be posting about on this forum IMO.

 

I think it's good that he felt able to post so honestly about how he feels here, as many of us do about all sorts of things. I'm sure it's an issue that other older guys (gay or straight) have too, and he is facing it, admitting it and respects the boundaries. The people to worry about are those who do not know or respect the boundaries....

Yes, it's a contentions issue here, but I'm sure we can discuss it with respect for Paul and other contributors.

 

The legal age depends on the country, so you maybe jumping to the wrong conclusion here. He's not breaking any laws in Australia, it's between 16 to 17 depending on the location. In most US states it's 16. Here's a link: http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

In Canada, for both males and females, the basic age of consent is 14. Anyone who is 14 or over can consent to having most kinds of sex with anyone else who is 14 or over.

It sounds bad, but it's so rare that a sexual relationship will occur with a 14 year old and an older man. They are trying to change the law to 16, but add provisions to protect a 16 year old having sex with a 14 year old.

I don't see an issue here. 17 years old is old enough. But he is wise to keep his feelings to himself in this case, as it's a work place and a scandal can ruin him and his family. The chances that the guy is gay is pretty slim. Not worth the risk.

You can look but don't touch! Is my advice. I have the same problem with cute young guys at my work. There's nothing wrong with looking and having private thoughts.

 

Not to beat a dead horse but the age of consent is 18 in the US, not 16.... I'm sorry for even expressing my feelings, but I must admit this topic did make me uncomfortable.

 

Hey no, just as Paul has the right to tell about his feelings, you have the right to tell us what bothers you. I was just saying that we all should be careful how we say things, coz we can sometimes hurt ppl when we don't mean to.

Like what would be interesting would be for you to tell us why this topic makes you uncomfortable. Like we are not really talking about paedos, coz paedos are ppl who are into little kids. Anyone who is 12 or older is not a little kid, and can usually look after himself, so ppl can't do stuff to him. Like I weigh nearly 40 kg and no guy could do anything I don't want.

And like everyone understands 'no thanks' so it doesn't matter if the guy is older or not. :icon_bigg

 

That's odd. I have found people under 18 attractive, I do not act on, it but I still find them attractive. Re-read his original post. He didn't do anything inappropriate.

I didn't find anything wrong with what he said. He said it was a "feeling" Its not something he said he acted upon. If he did that would be different.

People are just not as HONEST as Paul. Most people would not be brave enough to share these kind of thoughts. Trust me, I would bet a lot of people have similar thoughts that Paul has. Remember a thought is just that. A thought. I think it takes courage to post what he did.

I have been to lots of gossip sites, where people say things like I can't wait till that celebrity is legal. Those people are saying the same things, just wording it differently.

From me to Paul (*hug*)

 

I see your point now judging from the title of the thread and that 17 to you is still a minor. I meant no disrespect for your opinion. As someone else said, it's your right to express your feelings. Not all people view things in the same way. A gullible 17 year old could be quite susceptible to being manipulated by an older man. My apologies.

 

So far I agree with you.
I was going to say something but just ignored it.
To me its gross how 54 and 19 year olds would date.
Age is only a number and I dont base my judgement on the law that says an 18 year old cant date anyone 17 or below.
I would hate to think a 17 and 18 year old cant date after 5 years of relation.
What I am saying is such a big gap in years is quite disturbing.
The reason I came to this site it to talk to other teens meaning anyone from 13-19 ( 10-19 wouldnt matter).
I find it kind of creepy talking to someone so much older( no offense. truth hurts sometimes).
Agian I am not saying this to hurt or discourage him from posting but in my opinion there should actually be a different website or portion of EC for ages such as his.

 

Wow that's a little harsh don't you think? This message board IMO is for ANYONE who is still in the closet and is having a hard time w/ it. Who says that only teens are still in the closet. I'm sure there are tons of people who are 50 and older who are still struggling and in the closet.

 

So lets let them talk. (*hug*)