can't work him out

if it's getting awkward now, I think it's safe to ask him, just ask him when you're alone and when he's most comfortable. If anything he'll just say no and things will continue as normal. Though if you know he was awake when he did those things, then chances are he has some kind of attraction to men...

 

I had a very similar situation happen to me when I was younger. We use to have sleep overs and in the middle of the night he would always cuddle me. Sometimes he'd even kiss the back of my neck. Although this was at a time when I was still questioning my own sexuality, it was quite clear that the level of "tent" I was pitching (Level: Full Campsite) that it was pretty awkward some nights.

Sometimes in the morning he would tell me that the reason he cuddles me is because its reflex when he slept. Which...yes...sounds pretty ridiculous.

Anyways, I can't offer any advice on my situation, execept for we just sort of stopped doing it as we got older. Although he still hits on me when he's drunk (and sometimes it's questionable what his intentions are) his stream of heartbroken girls in his wake have taught me over time to just not ever act on it.

Does this solve if he's gay, bi, or straight? No. But I just soon learned to just accept that as his buisness and his buisness alone. He has not made it appararent that he's struggling or unhappy so what does it really matter.

That's not exactly the most awesome of advice but it's just how I dealt with a similar situation. Good luck!

 

either gay or curious

 

Well, I suppose you could come out to him, and then just explain that, if you were straight, his hard-on up against your back might be no big deal and you could just brush it off, but since you're gay, it kind of prevents you from sleeping. And you know, he shouldn't go there unless he wants to go there. :roflmao:

(Of course, if he's straight, just coming out to him will probably be enough to make him stop, without confronting him about it. But if he's not, he might go further next time.)

Does he have any reason to suspect you might be gay? It's interesting that it's you he keeps doing this to--although it might just be as simple as that you let him. You realize, don't you, that it probably isn't just coincidence that you keep "ending up" bunking together; if you aren't doing it on purpose, he probably is.

The thing is, if he is making a pass at you when he does this (I think it's likely), he is probably as confused about the situation as you are. You neither pull away (which would be a "no, stop!" signal), nor move back against him (which would be a "yes, go!" signal). You just lay there. And if it makes you at all tense, then he almost certainly knows that you are awake, just like you know about him. He can probably tell by your breathing, anyway.

Since you aren't out to him, from his perspective you are also "claiming to be straight."

If you come out to him and still end up with his aroused penis touching you, I think it's pretty safe to say he wants to get it on. But I don't think you have to be afraid of responding to his advances even without coming out. What's he gonna do? Freak out and tell everyone, "PerfectCircle is gay! When I put my hard cock on his back, he totally leaned into it! What a weirdo!" :eek:

Basically, if you want him to stop, pull away. If you don't want him to stop, move back against him. Don't just lie there.

 

I dont think this is an indicator to him being gay, some people are very cuddly, just like sleeping with some one, and most guys get wood in bed. even if he was questioning if he assumes your straight he defo wouldnt do this. So i think its prob just him being a cuddly lad no more than that. but it seems you want it to go further, and are hoping so, you should prob tell him you are gay, so the awkwardness stops. but there could be a chance hes gay...in which case if you do tell him then maybe you could take it further

 

Well, chances are, if he doesn't know you're gay, then he wouldn't be doing the stuff he is on purpose, or seriously. He probably just takes it as a joke, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you should tell him.

There's no point in maybe falling for him if he thinks you too are just being funny. Either that, or he's actually bi-curious.

Oh and about the "aroused" apart, when guys are sleeping, they tend to get, for lack of a better term, "stiff", which explains the morning wood thing.

 

Yes, but from what he says, this is happening before sleeping, not during or after. He says the guy was awake, had been unable to sleep. It's not "morning wood" if the guy hasn't been asleep. And I don't think it would happen so consistently in the same way by accident.

(Incidentally, I find stories like this really strange. I have shared beds with friends while travelling before. Many, many times, with different friends. There is no touching. Really. Not when they thought I was straight, not now that they know I'm gay. And we're girls--in my experience, girls are more touchy with their friends than guys are.)

Okay, so, I guess some guys like to cuddle platonically with their friends, even when they are aroused and they know the other person can tell. Um, okay.

I think it's weird.

 

Ohhhhhhhh I see. Well this is awkward.