I have been best friends with a girl for about 3 years she told me she liked me in high school, but i didn't want anything to become of it then. Tuesday and wednesday just been, we went to a residential at a lakeside lodge she is engaged to another girl, and i had no problem with it at all, i was happy for them both. I still don't have a problem with them being together. Me and the girl shared a room at night, and stayed up quite late talking about our feelings she said she still liked me, and I told her that I like her, but I don't really want anything to become of it because we're best friends, and she's engaged. If all was understood at that point then things would be great it's nice that our feelings are known and everything but she has been texting me basically saying that she wants to be with me. I don't even know if i want to actually be with her because this has all happened so fast I just want things to carry on as normal and whatever happens, happens. I don't particularly want a relationship at this time, and I don't want to feel as if I am trapped in this situation. What if someone lovely comes along, and I feel as if I can't get to know them? Has anyone on here got any advice?
I'd stay clear. You like her but are nervous of screwing up a relationship that's totally normal. But she is engaged and is emotionally at least cheating. She is with someone else and yet is saying she wants you. That isn't fair. If you decide you want her then the next step is she has to tell her fiancé and that is. Horrible situation. I sympathise for your situation but I so feel sorry for this other person who may soon learn her partner who she loves doesent love her and wants someone else. That's an incredibly powerful and horrible thing to happen. I can't give personal advice as I don't know people involved but I would stay clear of it all. You all made your choices and she made hers why get engaged if you know you want someone else ? Why hurt people. What's to stop it happening to you too. But its up to you. Take care
Thank you I too feel really sorry for her girlfriend that is why i don't want anything to happen between them two I feel they are made for each other, and I really don't care if i never get with this girl. Me and her are best friends, and it's been great like that for years I don't want her to make any rash decisions. It is, all in all, just a horrible situation but thank you for listening to me
I agree, in general. If you don't really care that much about this girl, than I wouldn't get in the middle of her mess. That being said, it's important to realize that you have nothing to feel bad for--you haven't done anything. The fact that this girl doesn't want to be engaged is independent of her feelings for you. If it wasn't you it would have been someone else or something else. She is clearly not ready to be married. If, once things have settled down and she has told her fiancé about her feelings for other people, you want to hook up with her, I don't see it as a problem, but for now I would lay low. Good luck!
Confront her on that topic. Not in an aggressive way, but you need to let her know that she's putting you in a position, and she shouldn't be doing that. "As long as you're engaged to somebody else, I don't want to hear about you having feelings for me. It puts me in an uncomfortable position, and that's not cool." Lex
^^I agree with them. Tell your friend she has to decide about her relationship with her fiancée independently, before you can even consider starting anything with her. You might even just refuse. According to your profile, you are seventeen years old, and even if you weren't, it seems to me like you don't really expect your next relationship to be your last. So, deep down, you know that starting a romantic relationship with her will mean that, eventually, you will probably lose her, maybe even as a friend. You might want to point out to her that, right now, she has her girlfriend as a partner, and you as a friend, and both relationships could potentially last forever. But if she breaks up with her partner to be with you, you think the most likely thing to happen is that she will eventually lose you both completely. Which, you know, would be bad.
