1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I made some REALLY bad decisions last night

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by badwolf104, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. badwolf104

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Enid
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey everyone. I don't post on this forum a lot, but I don't know where else to turn. I would be horrified if my friends found out how much of a bad person I am.

    I'm 18 and I live with my best friend from high school, her husband (who has become a really good friend of mine) and their two year old son. I have a part time job at a fast food restaurant, but it doesn't pay very much so they are basically supporting me and making sure I have food to eat.

    My friends grandmother lives in Louisiana and was very ill. Yesterday she got a call saying her grandmother was on her death bed and she needs to drive there (from Oklahoma where we live) to say her final goodbyes and attend the funeral. So they left their car (I don't have one) and 50 bucks so I could buy some groceries.

    She was talking to me, before she left, about how she thinks I can be responsible with their car, how good a friend I am, etc.

    Last night I got very drunk and thought it would be a great idea to get in their car, intoxicated, and go buy some marijuana with some of the money they left. Luckily I was not killed, hurt, arrested, or any of the hundreds of things that could have carried horrible consequences.

    I came home, smoked some of the marijuana, and passed out before I even knew I was asleep.

    I feel like such a horrible person. This was a gross abuse of trust on a level that makes me absolutely hate myself.

    The question I'm having is, when she gets back, do I wait a couple days for the shock of the loss of her grandmother to lessen and tell her what I did? I'm sure she would ask me to leave, and I could understand that. I deserve it.

    Do I just make the decision to leave, and lie about why I want to go?

    Do I just not say anything, spare her feelings, and find a way to live with this?

    If/when I tell her she will be absolutely devastated. I am her best friend and I abused her trust in the most heinous way I could. Had I not been drunk, I would NOT have done what I did. Buying marijuana crossed my mind sober, but I decided that would be a bad thing to do. Intoxicated, I have the self control and the foresight of a 5 year old.

    I have a few places I could go if I do tell her what I did. But I don't want to leave here, and don't want to loose her as a friend. I just don't know what to do. I'm just sitting here, hungover, hating my self for being so bad.
     
  2. maverick

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2010
    Messages:
    1,643
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama *cue banjos*
    Honestly? My advice is to not tell her and just learn your lesson. Getting kicked out is not going to improve your situation, it's not going to make her feel better about what you did, and besides all that, something bad could have happened, but it didn't. Don't make something bad happen by confessing what you did. That's self-sabotage.

    You obviously understand and recognize that what you did was wrong. That's important. What's more important is figuring out what you learned from the experience. In business, failed decisions often undergo a "project postmortem" to figure out why the concepts involved didn't work. You should probably continue to do the same with regards to this experience.

    In other words, just think about what you did. Why did you feel the need to get mindlessly drunk in the first place?

    Also, while I don't disapprove of pot smoking, you really shouldn't be smoking it unless you can support yourself financially in every other aspect of your life first, which you obviously can't. Nor should you be getting drunk, either. Do you have savings in the bank? Do you have an emergency fund in case you break an arm, or whatever? Do you have a car, or any longterm plans to support yourself? These are significant things to consider before you sit around getting a buzz on.

    I know right now it seems easy to spend your money on frivolous things, but when you get older you will regret it from a position of financial insecurity. I speak from personal experience.

    ^ If alcohol makes you make decisions like this, you probably shouldn't drink at all, or should cut back a LOT (like, to 1-3 drinks in a sitting, not "OMG let's drive!" shitfaced). If you're drinking to this level of impaired judgement, you're drinking way too much.

    Otherwise....lighten up, and give yourself a break. Eighteen year-olds fuck up, it's practically a part of the job description. Just dust yourself off and don't do it again. (*hug*)
     
  3. badwolf104

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Enid
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you maverick. That made me feel a lot better. I really shouldn't drink, it turns me into a maniac. I have issues with depression, but I don't have any health insurance so there isn't anything I can do about it really.

    But I definitely did learn my lesson about all of it and I'm never doing anything like that again.

    I think you are right about not telling her, and I was kinda thinking the same thing, but I just was in a guilt panic this morning.

    Thanks again
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know several people who would feel the lessons to be learned from last night are "my friends are gullible" and "I drive better drunk than I do sober". So I'd say you're ahead of the curve. Go ahead and take the lessons. Stop drinking (you probably can't afford it anyway), find some cheaper pasttimes, budget the rest of your money, and make sure the house is clean when they get home. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  5. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's quite scary some people would think they drive better drunk after that. =/
     
  6. maverick

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2010
    Messages:
    1,643
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alabama *cue banjos*
    If you still feel driven to penance, this whole cleaning bit is a fantastic idea. Put on some upbeat music, take some aspirin, and make that place immaculate for when they get home. =)
     
  7. IThinkInCircles

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    west of Chicago
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah. I would say you got really lucky this time. Just make better decisions in the future.
     
  8. badwolf104

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Enid
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I was thinking the same thing. We have an issue with keeping the house clean (they have a destructive two year old) so it would be really nice.

    Thanks again for the support guys. I really needed it. I'm feeling much better now,
     
  9. straal1972

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2010
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Outside of Barrie On
    I'm just going to echo maverick and lex. But in addition, you're going to feel guilty about what you did. THATS YOUR PUNISHMENT. By confessing, you're only alleviating your guilt, and also forcing the other people to do the punishing.