okay this ones for my mom since she's the one having the issue. she thinks that the guy that she's dating is using her as a cover-up. He's avoided all physical contact, he lived shared a house with another guy, he's living with a hetrosxual couple (because the guy wants him around so his wife has company so my mom says he must be non-threatening cause why would this guy want his wife spending time with anther guy) and he was engaged for a really long time and broke up and she doesn't know the reason. and on top of that he talks about other guys being good looking. both me and my sister (gay perspective and straight) agree this guy is gay. But my mom doesn't know what to say to him. She doesn't want to be his cover up. So how does she go about finding out? I apprecaite any replies!
Hi Morgan :smilewave Well from what you're saying, it sounds that he really is gay. If he really is using your mom as a cover, it's probably 'cause he's scared about his orientation. You or your family could try helping him over come his fear and helping him realize that using someone to cover his feelings isn't only going to hurt him, but also your mom.
I think if I was your mother, I'd just come out and ask him point blank. No, it's not fair to her if this is what he is doing and it truly sounds like he is using her for a cover up. It may turn out that they can be good friends and she can help him become more comfortable with himself.
How long have they been dating for? If they have been going out for a while, it sounds a bit suspicious if he is reluctant to engage in any physical contact with her. I'm not saying every man is just after 'one thing', but it just appears a bit odd if he's keeping his distance. I also question the living situation. I would say very few (if any) men would be ok in saying that another man is good company for his wife without being jealous or concerned. I agree with Becky and suggest your mother should speak to him about it. Not in a confrontational matter, but just let him know that she is concerned about the progress of their relationship because she feels as though maybe the whole truth isn't being told. That she doesn't understand why he has refrained from any physical connection with her. It may just be that he is shy/respectfull, and doesn't want to rush things. But if he has been engaged before, & is also commenting on the attractiveness of other men, I think there is more to the story than he is letting on. I know it's a delicate subject to bring up, but this isn't fair to your mother either. She has every right, being in a relationship with this man, to talk to him about anything involving the both of them.
