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Seriously wondering why people think I can change.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by collegeforfun, Feb 20, 2011.

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  1. collegeforfun

    collegeforfun
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    So the past few days things seem to be looking up on life, planning to move out soon, got a great friends, but the thing that keeps tearing me down more than anything is my parents. I know I have posted on here about them before but they seem to be my biggest problem... :confused: My parents seem to want to go from acting like they hate me to just wanting me to change and back to anger. There seems to be no middle ground. It is quite discerning for the fact that I am the one all this is directed at. When trying to just get out what I want to say though the only response I ever get from my parents is "Why cant you just be normal, and change and love girls?" This really ticks me off to no fathoming and I really have no clue how to respond... And the silent treatment doesn't work with my family.
     
    #1 collegeforfun, Feb 20, 2011
  2. Lexington

    Lexington
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    If it's that easy, ask them to give it a go. Tell them to be gay for the next six months, and see how it goes. Not "pretend to be gay". Not "act gay when there's somebody else in the room". But actually be gay. Actually be turned on by the same sex, and not by the opposite sex. Because if changing is that easy, they can do it, too, right?

    Lex
     
    #2 Lexington, Feb 20, 2011
  3. flymetothemoon

    flymetothemoon
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    Lex, I was going to suggest the same thing!
     
    #3 flymetothemoon, Feb 20, 2011
  4. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Then it's unanimous. At least after two votes. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #4 Lexington, Feb 20, 2011
  5. maverick

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    That's fucking brilliant. Thirded.
     
    #5 maverick, Feb 20, 2011
  6. DougieBoy

    DougieBoy Guest

    Your parents seem too thickheaded for the above idea, it seems you just need to move out and let them come to terms with you. If they give you grief for being gay, guve them grief for being straight, tell them you don't like the fact there gay.
     
    #6 DougieBoy, Feb 20, 2011
  7. Random Dent

    Random Dent Guest

    Agree. :thumbsup:
     
    #7 Random Dent, Feb 20, 2011
  8. collegeforfun

    collegeforfun
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    So I guess I should def pull both ideas!
     
    #8 collegeforfun, Feb 20, 2011
  9. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    Truth, that suggestion is genius.
     
    #9 thedreamwatch, Feb 20, 2011
  10. Chip

    Chip
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    Agreed. Absolutely genius. Of course, they probably won't be sharp enough to grasp what you're saying but it's worth a try.

    It may be one of those things where they are just in the "anger" phase of the stages of loss, and nothing but time will solve it, but you can always try your best. Otherwise you may just have to give them some time and space. I'm confident they will eventually come around.
     
    #10 Chip, Feb 20, 2011
  11. collegeforfun

    collegeforfun
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    ... tried that approach and that got me slapped :frowning2: .... this just isn't right!
     
    #11 collegeforfun, Feb 21, 2011
  12. V128

    V128
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    I suggest you quit treating their opinions on this with importance. It's clear that they don't care what you say or do, they will not budge. Quit talking about it with them, avoid the conversations and live your life to the fullest until you can move out.

    I assure you that they still love you and their treatment of you surrounding this whole thing is coming from fear, whether that be that you live an unhappy life as a target, or that you burn in Hell. Neither is valid, but very real for them. I suggest you move on and keep it positive with your parents until further notice. (*hug*)
     
    #12 V128, Feb 21, 2011
  13. maverick

    maverick
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    Yeah, if they're at the point right now, it's sort of a lost cause for the moment. Just let them be and get on with your kickass life. You're eighteen, you can move out soon. If they haven't gotten over it by then, you can put a little distance between yourself and them that will give you the freedom to be yourself, but will also give them the space to deal with your homosexuality without having to be physically confronted with it all the time.
     
    #13 maverick, Feb 21, 2011
  14. Lexington

    Lexington
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    If they slapped you for it, that tells you what you're dealing with. They're not to be reasoned with. Don't bother.

    Lex
     
    #14 Lexington, Feb 21, 2011
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