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Gay Bar?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by konfused612, Feb 21, 2011.

  1. konfused612

    Regular Member

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    I recently moved and am in the processing of finding the gay community here. I’ve heard about this bar which has a gay night Thursday nights. I intend to check it out, but I’m not sure how to approach it. I’ve gone to bars before, but always with friends (and new people I’ve meet have been friends of friends). Since I’m new in town I’d be going out by myself. I’d like to meet other gay people in town and hopefully make some friends (or perhaps something more) …

    I’m still new to the gay bar scene and was just wondering how others have approached it. I’m planning on going this Thursday regardless just to try it out and see what happens, but if anyone has any thoughts, advise, or cares to share some of their experiences I’d appreciate hearing …
     
  2. LostandFound

    LostandFound Guest

    The people I know who've done this wear something really eye-catching so that people have come over and talked to them.

    Or what I did once was just went and found a group of people that looked friendly, told them I was new and didn't know anybody and we ended up chatting for a while. Later that night I ended up meeting other people just naturally and I never really spoke to that group afterwards but for at least a little while I wasn't a loner hanging on the wall. It's hit or miss though, I tried it another time and ended up leaving the club after half an hour because I wasn't making any progress.
     
  3. Filip

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    Personally, I haven't got the courage to go to a regular bar by myself, let alone go to a gay bar.

    However, I can pass on a piece of advice from one of my friends who does go to bars alone. His strategy for checking out a new place is to go on a regular, slow, night. When there's no big event going on, and preferably after checking there's not too many people there. It's less overwhelming and you're more likely to get into a short conversation with one or two patrons or the bartender. You could even ask about that gay night coming up.

    Which, in turn, makes it easier to go when things are busier, as you already have a couple of people you've seen before, and you know your way around the basic layout.

    I've never tried that strategy myself, but it always did sound sensible to me...
     
  4. RedState

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    Well, good for you for getting out there. That's the only way you will meet other folks like yourself.
    Going to a gay bar by yourself isn't that scary at all. The first one I ever went to I was by myself (I was outta town and out to no one) I had a blast..and some of those people I met that first night are still my friends to this day.

    You'll have some creepers there that are just looking to score (but, you have those in every bar on the planet) and those are pretty easy to spot out. Should be fun! Good luck!
     
  5. Fishken

    Fishken Guest

    Just go with an open mind and a smile. It's quite scary going out alone the first few times, but i find that it's quite easy to find someone to talk to as long as you don't sit in a dark corner staring at the table. look around you and make eye-contact. Usually someone comes over and wants to talk.

    The backup solution is to sit at the bar. conversation is guaranteed to happen.
     
  6. TheJoker

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    Come on,even straight people go gay bars in these days..