Love my Church

My advice would have been not to come out to people like them to begin with.

Perhaps an acceptable compromise would be "re-closeting" yourself to just this specific group of individuals? They sound dumb enough to believe that you'd have "reformed yourself." Just tell them that it was a phase. Make sure your lie doesn't bite back in the future.

 

That can happen, really the only answer I can say is to stick with it, stay in your church until they are demanding you leave because honestly they can't lay finger on you cus they don't got shit, "let those who haven't sinned throw the first stones" it's that simple and honestly if you love your church and love doing the things you did in church then dammit DO IT, go along to the choir, go along to the drama take part dammit, people may be rejecting you but seriously they are hypocrites, church isn't a place for the high and mighty or the oh so holy, it's the place for EVERYONE

 

Reading this makes me really glad I'm an atheist.

 

If they don't want you at all, and you are forced to quit, maybe you could try talking to them? Maybe as a whole a group. If you plant some supporters in it, maybe they could help sway the crowd your way?

 

I would find a new church. There are plenty of gay-friendly churches where you could join the choir and drama team without everyone treating you like dogshit for no fault of your own. Do you honestly want to be around people that you know think of you that way? Personally, I'd hang out with people who either don't care that I'm gay, or think I'm fabulous because of it.

You can get God at multiple venues, I'd pick the one where you feel most comfortable and preferably one that doesn't think homosexuals are going to burn in the flames of hell for all eternity.

I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable in a church where I was forced to quit any active participation in extracirricular activities there because of my sexuality. What is this, 1964?

 

There are plenty of religious and secular organizations where you can be open about your sexuality and not be made to feel like an outsider. If you really want to, give them a little while to adjust, but you shouldn't have to compromise your actions or who you are. Find a group where you can have a healthy and satisfying sense of community and that accepts your for who you are.

 

May I ask what denomination of Christianity you are? I am guessing from what you wrote, that you are a member of a non-denominational protestant church?

I'd talk to the pastor and see if you can reach an agreement. But if you are not being accepted there, maybe try another church that is a bit more liberal in its viewpoints on homosexuality? I think the largest Christian church in America that is "accepting" of homosexuality has to be the Episcopal Church, so I'd start there. You also might want to message Padre411 who is a gay Episcopalian Minister on these forums. I think he is from somewhere in the Southern US.

But, the number one thing to remember is that they have no right to take your faith away from you. Your faith is between you and God. Remember that.

I guess this is one of the reasons why there are SOOO many different types of Christians out there! I am sure you can find another that you'll fit into!

If you want to chat drop me a line!

 

This! I personally wouldn't stick around somewhere like that.

 

I would try for a while, this is a part of your life and I wouldn't say you should just give up and move on, of cource if it really does seem like a lost cause, there is little else you can do. See if your friends will support you through this and perhaps go and see someone in charge, in person at least just once, explain you are the same person you have always been, you are only there to show your faith to the lord and contribute to and socialise with your community and the church, your sexuality does not have any effect on this.

If they are too small minded to see past this then they are the dissapointment, not you. At least if you try once, you have done all you can do and if their opinions will not change at least you won't later in life wonder what could have happened if you'd tried. Leaving a church doesn't mean you can't still keep in touch with your friends, just try to look for somewhere where you can practice your beliefs with likeminded people, in peace.

 

This might be a problem n_n;;; Pentecostals from what I know aren't very lenient.

I would say try to stick it out and see if they accept you over time, you're still you, and if they don't accept you for what you are then it might be time to find another church.

Though as for me, I've stopped going to church, too many elitists nowadays in churches I got sick of it.

 

You've been rejected. There is zero hope of you terminating the homophobic mentality of an entire congregation who believes the creator of the universe is on their side and more-than-certainly not on yours. Move on. Your life can consist of something better than superficial activities with conditional "friends".

 

Yeah, I haven't had much contact with pentacostals but from what I understand they are not too flexible on homosexuality. I think you should start church shopping. I am sure there is something out there for you! There are so many different denominations. Maybe find one with a good youth group your age?

And again, drop Padre411 a line! Psst. I recommend the Episcopal Church, we're everywhere and we want you gay and all ^^

 

Only the lord can judge, And if they can't accept you for who you are and leave it at that, then maybe you should consider changing to a church where they will accept you as you are without prejudice.

I think it comes down to whether you feel welcome where you are, or if you will become miserable

 

QFT! i love you midwestblues, it's like you take all my thoughts and dump 'em all over the forum all eloquent like.

i don't understand why you'd want to spend your time with people who don't like you because of who you are. this shouldn't be a hard decision.

i'd also recommend you stopped dignifying these cretins by calling them friends. nothing about their behaviour indicates that they are.

 

I know where this guy is coming from. A good Parish, one you grew up in is like a second family. And its damn hard to give up your family because they won't accept you.

I see your advice, but its much harder than it seems.

Would you say this to him if he said it was his parents that weren't accepting his homosexuality?

 

I just want to say that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You could also find an accepting church to start attending most of the time (and to see to your pastoral needs), but still occasionally attend the church you've grown up in. You don't have to cut all ties.

This would be very like what a lot of gay people do if their families are not accepting--they don't cut all ties with their families, but they build an additional, non-traditional family of accepting people who love them as they are.

(I'm not really a Christian myself, but in my understanding of it this would also be Christlike behavior: turning the other cheek, loving them even as they hurt you, and being ready to return to them if ever their hearts are more open to you. To use scriptural terminology, the problem is their hardness of heart--that is, even though they have no direct experience of homosexuality, they are proud in their interpretation of scripture regarding the subject, unwilling to hear the earnest testimony of gay people who would witness to them, and closed to the possibility of new revelations from God. It's possible that my comprehension of scripture is lacking, though, and if anyone wants to correct me or elaborate, I would value the opportunity to deepen my understanding.)