Everyone talks about how friends backstab you, hurt you in the end, blah blah blah... Well. Let me just state that I surround myself with quite possibly the funniest, most awesome people in my school. Even if we don't see eye to eye on some things, we make it work and I don't think there could be better people to hang around. I have only told one of them about the traumatizing events of my past, which I do not feel comfortable with going into detail here. And this friend, who's been there for me too many times to count in my life and has been proud to call me her friend (despite her family being very religious and anti-gay) has been distancing further and further from me. Before today, I thought we were still friends, though she started hanging out with some new folks. She called me up today not too long ago, telling me that she had something really important to share: "Hey. Listen, I know you can't help it or anything, but when we talk could you just act a little normal or something? It's just weird because you're kinda really open about the whole queer thing or whatever and I kinda have a reputation, y'know? I mean, it's not like we can't be friends, but... I just don't think you know how it feels to have this weight on your shoulders. Every time I get home I think that my dad's going to know that I hang out with you, and he's prone to getting kinda physical about stuff. I just need you to understand." I was so shocked that I hung up the phone. The one person who I've always trusted, who knows about everything that's happened to me and knows that abuse is a touchy subject for me (her father wouldn't dare to touch her if she called him a bigoted prick, which he totally is) has the nerve to tell me that "I don't know how it feels to have a weight on my shoulders." The bloody hell I don't! :bang: Anyway. I guess this has turned into quite a rant, and I apologize for making it so lengthy. I just want to know if you have any advice on how I should go about telling her how this made me feel (and how we really can't be friends anymore) without too many curse words. *sigh* high school is destroying me. First the whole outing, and now this shit. I can't believe my bad luck these days.
It's not your fault. I know you may not want to believe this, or hopefully you do. But it gets better. High school, no matter how many times they say its "the best time of your life" it isn't. It's four years of ridiculousness until you enter what I call the REAL WORLD. Don't worry about your b**ch of a friend, and just live as you are. She's not your friend if she's asking you to be "normal". She's a b**ch, nuff said. <3 you
I can so relate to your story, I've already had two friends distance themselves from me cuse they think I'm a wierdo or something, but it really doesn't matter cuse they have issues and need some help. I'm really sorry about your "friend" :/
Hey man high school is high school. Kids are just growing up and sometimes kids don't understand everything. I've never had a friend ditch me cause I liked guys, so I'm not gonna relate to this, but maybe you should tell her that it is just high school, and that her reputation here won't even matter when she gets to college, only her grades.
Okay, I was getting ready to play devil's advocate for this girl until I read the above. Anyone who is more concerned with their reputation than they are with your feelings is no friend of yours. Just let her go amicably - unfortunately, as a gay person you can't honestly expect everyone to embrace you or your "lifestyle", as they like to call it. There are definitely going to be people whom you would have otherwise considered your friends who will discriminate against you, refuse to be associated with you, or even hate you openly. That's not something that's going to change as you get older. Really, she's just projecting her own insecurities on you, which is rampant in high school. Shrug it off and find friends who accept you for who you really are. That might be difficult in high school, but believe me, once you get out it'll be much easier. In high school I only knew about three people who were openly gay out of a class of over five hundred people and a school of over two thousand - by the time I got to college, more than half of the people I hung out with regularly were gay, and the rest of the people I hung out with never had a problem with it. In high school, image and reputation is everything. In college, it isn't worth shit. Your "friend" is going to have a rude awakening when she graduates and nobody cares about the reputation she tried so hard to cultivate.
Well speaking as a Sailor its hard to tell you not to curse. However I suggest being blunt about it. Tell her that you really had counted on her and that she let you down. Tell her that if she has a problem with who you are that its her prerogative and that you wont stick around for it. Change for no one. Also sorry on a side note all these people that seem to feel that he friend is a crappy person because she did this need a reality check. People DO NOT let me repeat do not have to accept you. Thing is you don't need to subject yourself to their BS either. What the girl did made her a crappy friend not a bad person.
