Hey, I'm Carrie. :icon_redf I've denied what may be my sexuality for over year now, but I'm sick of not being me, especially when I tell so many people that's it's great to be yourself. And, I came to this website looking the help that I can't get from people I know. All I know is that I'm definitely not straight; I think if anything I'm bisexual since I find myself attracted to physical aspects of both girls and boys. I'm...trying to accept that now. I even know who I want to "come out" to after I get this all sorted--if I get this all sorted. Ugh, I'm not getting to the point at all, am I? This is hard for me. I guess what I really need help with is accepting me for me. I'm, like, at a denial phase right now and the facts just aren't settling right in my brain. So, help? Please and thanks a million! (*hug*)
I think with time you'll eventually figuer it out, but I heard that bisexual people change their mind alot about what gender they like :/.
D; I'm sorry but I don't really know how to help you with something like that, maybe if u dated a girl you could decide wether you like girls or not, anyways u don't have to come out right away if you are unsure, but if you really feel that someone is going to be supportive of you then do it
give it time, think it over, sometimes i have my days where i am atracted to women, and some when i am just completly gay. im bisexual i guess, but more in denial than anything. so yes, sometimes bisexuals have theyre sexualities "change", also just give it time you might find out and come out, or perhaps decide you are straight or something, and well.. not come out.. sorry if that didnt help much. just my suggestion, give it time and think about it sums it up
Hey sister! You sound almost exactly like me. I had my first crush on a girl when I was ten or eleven, but it was only in ninth grade (specifically in the locker room) that I realized what my crushes on girls meant -- and that I liked looking at girls' bodies even if I didn't really like the girl that they belonged too (this made me feel like such a perv, so I went out of my way to stop looking altogether). It was only over the summer that I came to terms with my sexuality and started coming out, first to myself and then to my closest friends. Everyone falls in a different place on the spectrum. I consider myself a Kinsey 4.5 on some days and a full blown 6 on others, so I guess I'm bi? Gay? LesBIan? :b The point is, you don't have to know exactly who you are at this point. You probably won't figure it out for a while, since you're growing and so is your sexuality. My advice is to just accept yourself whether you feel more attracted to guys or girls at the moment. You'll work it out. (*hug*)
Well you can't call yourself bi or gay or straight until you know what you like. The most important advice I ever got was to stop trying to name what I was before I knew who I was. It took a lot off my shoulders. It's your sexuality, no one else's. You decide what you like and don't like, whether it's boys, girls, both, none, some, all or a mix of those. You're in control girl so take charge and just follow you're instincts. (!)
Ah, you're all so much help already! It's making me happy that I found this site ^_^ Honestly, my eyes are stinging with happy tears, lol I'll be sure to keep all that you've said in mind and try not to worry so much
Ok first off I want to recommend a book its called "The Bisexuals Guide to the Universe." Secondly don't worry about being unsure or changing desires. That's totally normal. I myself am bi and fall around 50/50 with my desires. Some people go years only liking the same or opposite sex then bam that craving for something different hits. I myself spent around 21 years being totally happy with women. Then one day well things got complicated. Currently I want a guy but hey who knows what the future holds. Also just because your desires flux does not make you promiscuous at all. I mean I was totally faithful to my last female partner even if for a time I really was craving a guy. Its kind of hard to explain and the book I mentioned does it much better then I can. You learn to deal with it in time. Just dont expect other people to get it right away. Took me some time to explain to my friends that know that even though I like guys at the moment I am not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with being so, I simply will not deny my attraction to women just because I like men as well. Keep your chin up. You will figure things out in time.
I feel like some people never get out of the denial phase. I am out now and sometimes i resent that IM gay. But thats with anyone dear, each person regrets something about themselves at some point, straight or gay. And as for the way you feel about telling your friends to be who you are and then feeling bad about it later, well thats normal. Each person faces some form of denial. First you should find out whether you are bi or gay, and then take things step by step. Message me if you want any opinions on anything in particular.
Hey, First, you don't have to give yourself a label (bi, lesbian etc.) I would perhaps try dating guys so you can at least establish how that makes you feel. If you wanted to try dating a girl to learn more about yourself, you can always tell someone that you aren't sure of your own orientation. But as far as the denial, time and experience help. And welcome hope that helps
Hi Carrie, and welcome! There are so many people (including me) who know what you're going through, so you should feel pretty at home here! First, I would like to say that for me, the denial ended when I realized that sexuality is not a choice anymore than eye color is. There have been many research studies showing that bisexual and gay people are just different (the 2nd and 4th digit ratio is the most interesting finding, I think--you should google it!) If people could successfully "turn off" their attraction to the same sex, many people would. But we can't. You are who you are, and you deserve to live into yourself as much as the next person. I don't know that this line of thinking will necessarily work for you, but it did help me stop beating myself up. We curse the kind of hair we have from time to time, and we often wish that we had better teeth, but in general, we learn to accept ourselves for who we are. Your sexuality is a part of that, so it's okay to wonder why you keep falling in love with crazy girls from time to time, but there's no sense in putting yourself down for liking girls to begin with. Women are amazing! It's great that you're attracted to them. Men are great too! Don't worry about the label--it's just a way for people to put you in a box so that they can understand you more easily. Eventually you will probably settle on a label that you can at least live with, but in the meantime, have fun, experiment, and enjoy being a teenager! Consider yourself lucky--I didn't realize I wasn't heterosexual until I was 25! Again, welcome, and hang in there--it will get easier!
Hi Carrie, 16 huh? Just add sexuality to one of the many things you will be discovering about yourself No labels needed. I'm 37 (presumably beyond the age of discovery) and just figuring out that I'm gay. It's easier to accept myself as is now that I have no (ok, fewer) presumptions to stand on. They say it gets better... Well, I'm new to this and it has already gotten better for me. This is a great site- you will find acceptance here. Welcome!
