Let me start off by saying that I'm bi and I have only come out to my best friend. I'm in the process of trying to come out. I'm really scared to tell my parents especially my dad. I'm his only son and I feel like I'm letting him down. They're very religious too. I'm afraid that they might disown me and do other things. They have been known to use gay slurs and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know what to do or say.
maybe you should wait until you move out in order to avoid problems with them :/ btw maybe there are some other more accepting relatives out there that might be able to help you with your parents?
Even if you don't move out before telling them it would be a good idea to have somewhere else to stay incase you need it. Ideally you should be able to support yourself if you have to.
I highly recommend not "pushing it." If you feel ready, and you are prepared for them to not like it, then by all means do it. But, if you don't feel ready, don't.
If you aren't a legal adult, they could potentially force you into some wretched ex-gay "treatment." That could do you serious psychological harm. If you think there's a chance they could do that, wait to tell them. If you depend on them for financial support, and you really think they might toss you out, wait to tell them. If you think it will make your life worse instead of better, wait to tell them. Someday you will tell them. It doesn't have to be today. In the mean time, seek out other people you can come out to, including some other adults you know. Find some surrogate parental figures to help you with your problems and give you advice. Build a base of emotional support to help you when you decide it's time. But, if the secret is too much, you may have to tell them, to avoid it making you crazy. Most parents ultimately accept their children. Yours probably will too. It partly depends on how long you anticipate living at home. I actually think they are really unlikely to kick you out or cut you off financially, but if you have a few more years at home, they could make it really hard on you. If you are going away to school soon, or anything like that, you might do it sooner. Really, though, since you are only out to one person, I think it would be a better idea for you to build a larger gay-friendly support base before you come out to them. When you do come out to them, try to make sure you aren't angry or confrontational about it, and have support resources available for them. Be ready to answer their questions yourself, but also make sure they know how to find other people to talk to and ask their questions of. Sometimes, they might want somebody else to talk to about it, and it's good to make sure that that's available to them. In addition to PFLAG, you should be able to find some resources particularly for people of their religion, with a little research. Try to make it clear that you know this will be hard for them, and you have thought about what they will need, in terms of support and so on.
