Basically my Grandma asked me today "So, do you have a boyfriend yet?" and in the car as well as us two was my mom and my sis, who both know. I'm reasonably close to my nan, but I've never brought up the subject of homosexuality with her before so I don't know her take on it. But she is a pretty strict christian and to be honest, a bit feeble, I might give her a heart attack if I told her. So basically I mumbled some crap about being so focused on my GCSEs and now A-levels I don't have time to think about anything else. I want to tell my extended family, because I must have been asked that question a million times, but I really don't want to be seen as "the disappointment", because there are no other gays in my family. My mom says "It's none of their business" but part of me thinks that she is thinking exactly the same as me and that she might be a bit ashamed of what the family would think of her maybe. Anyway again I have gone off on a rant, but my main question is: "How do you guys deal with those sort of awkward situations amongst your family and friends?"
well when my dad asked if i had a girlfriend i just said erm no. then he made some homophobic joke so i jus kinda told him. i swear he nearly died on the spot. Its always best to be honest. that said only if your ready to though. sorry i couldnt be more help
Well, I come from a very conservative Venezuelan background and my parents know but I've been frobiden from telling anyone else, not that I so much want to, as much as I want them to stop asking questions about wether or not I have a girlfriend. I wish I could tell them that no, I don't have a gorlfriend, I have a boyfriend, but thats just not soemthing thats acceptable in a Catholic Venezuelan community. I have been lucky enough, though, to have grown up in the US and surrounded by more fair-minded individuals, though evryone I know is white and I have no connections to my Venezuelan herritage but for some memories and my parents, I am at least in a safer. more accepting, enviroment. Its just easier to stir the conversation away from yyourself and talk about a shared issue that most of you agree about, like politics, when everyone gets all into the conversation, then its gonna be harder to return to your love life
That happened to me. My brother asked me something about me susposedly posting on myspace that I was bi,which I didnt. Im not going to to just tell the whole dang world like that. but apparently someone had. The thing is only he and my mom knew about this. So he asked me "whats this with posting your bi or whatever on myspace like 20 times?" I tell him "I didnt...why?when did it say that?" He said a while back so before we ended the conversation I said "well im not denying Iam but I never wrote that." The next day goes on like any other. Fighting,screaming,more fight,more screaming, conversation. My younger brother calls gay and then the brother that I told jumps in and says "Timmy's not gay..hes bi" I never wanted my little brother to know. So I tell him" Aww thats fucked up in a playful voice. *que my "wTF you idiot?!?!?! face " * and thats ho i avood them
Same has happened to me, except that it's everyone, even my barber :dry: They all say: "Hey, how's the girlfriend?" or "You look happy, is someone in love? Who is she?" I really don't have any ideas of how I can just cover up my orientation, so I just scoff or shrug it off. If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE HELP!
um.. that hasn't happened yet. and i'm not sure it applies if i'm bi and not going out w/ anyone. they could ask about either sex and get the same answer.
I already told dad/mom that I wont marry, and no asking for reasons I know mom likes me to marry till im in late 20s, so yeha i dont care, actually my family dont care about my love life much, and if they ask, i dont tell(used to), but after that night, I dont want to talk to them about bf/gf anymore And I odnt care about what my relatives think, they always asked me if I had a gf, i just joked yeah, she is hot/sexy, stuffs or simply said I care more bout studyign than bf/gf Soon they'll know Im a gay man, and yeah, I dont care, Imma fly away with no sign of me lol
Awkward situations happen like that with my family all of the time, particularly because my parents know, but my brother doesnt. Also, I have the crazy extended relatives who expect me to marry a "nice jewish girl" (well, they got another thing coming)
Yeah no one in my family really asks me this stuff, thank god. My aunt does sometimes, but I just brush it off. Next time I might just tell her the truth...
I get these all of the time from relatives and co-workers... Last weekend my grandmother asked if I was "happy living all alone in my apartment". I was like "YUP!" all chipper like. haha :lol:
Ask your mum out right what she thinks of you telling your grandma. You might be reading her wrong. If she isn't comfortable with it yet maybe you can wait a bit until she is and talk to her about it so that she will be supportive of you. You grandma may be a stout christian but that doesn't mean she has to agree 100% of everything she has been taught. Her love for you will probably strong enough to overcome this... she raised and educated your mum who has managed to accept this so there is hope. Maybe your mum and you could tell her together, so that your mum can be there to pick up the pieces, as it were. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
Yeah, I get asked by my family a fair bit, & whenever I run into an old friend or work collegue. I find it a rather intrusive question to be honest, and I don't particularly like having to give a 'reason' for not being in a relationship. In saying that though, I just tell them that I haven't been looking, or no-one's caught my eye, etc. Generally any excuse to move away from the topic. But I think if you feel comfortable enough to tell her (maybe get her heart checked beforehand!) then you should. You did say you are fairly close to her, so she may just be a bit shocked at first, then accept it. But if she doesn't take the news too kindly, you should not be made to feel like a 'dissapointment' to the family. Sexuality is not a choice & it cannot be dictated by religious guidelines. Maybe if you can, just casually bring up the topic of sexuality. Say something like you are researching GLBT rights in society & need some 'background info' on what things used to be like when she was younger. That way at least you will get a feel as to whether it's a good move or not.
that happened to me in front of my cousins bday, which is attended by all of the family members. in the middle of the room, i was asked the same question, do u had a gf? at what age ull get married? at what age ull gonna get a kid? so, given those situation, and im fully closeted, i just tell em bout my ex gf. not to mention that they r all moslem. i even more than convinced now, that if i out, they wont accept me as family nemore. but who CARES?
