my freind

I think you should come out to your friend and then see where it goes

 

Are you "supposed to know" that he's gay? Are you "supposed to know" that he was dating?

If not, then it'd be a bit rash to ask him out. Instead, as VK suggested, your best bet is to come out to him first. If you don't know him well enough to simply come out to him (if it'd be like "coming out" to that guy in geometry class), then I'd say working on getting to know him a bit better would be the smart first move.

Lex

 

I'm gonna agree--since he doesn't know you're gay, coming out to him is the first step.

It's impossible to date a guy who doesn't know you're gay.

 

You are one lucky giant flaming eye.You are gay,he is gay,you are single,he is single..what do you waiting for?

 

Look sharp,be confident and flirty. It always work no matter what gender is.We are talking about a single gay guy here.I mean,everything is on yourside.. It's just a mental block.Both of you are gay & single.You already have friendship, know eachother.Gay people have limited choices.So everything on your side.
Some gays even try to seduce straights just for a hope..Don't miss your chance.Show why you are flaming :eusa_danc

 

- wait for him to get over his breakup dont be the rebound
- Be out to him before you ask him
- Don't date in the closet it will be hell on your relationship and on you and will likely doom it to fail

Don't focus on trying to be in a relationship when you are not out, it is unhealthy for a number of reasons.
1) You can't be together in a dating way in public, around friends, or family this will cause problems
2) You may get outed via being seen around together or getting caught doing something
3) if there is a bad breakup he can threaten to out you or someone can catch wind of it and use it against you

Now here is where i am going to guess at some stuff and try not to be to offended but it seems like you are trying to be in a relationship in order to deal with another problem. You need to be comfortable on your own and with yourself before you go into a relationship and you can't have the balance and pride needed to sustain a healthy relationship if your still in the closet. Come out deal with your real issues before you go into a relationship or it will mean there will be issues. my 2 cents

 

Try and wait to come out to him right after you think he is over his past relationship, but then wait for a bit to see if maybe he makes the next move. But I have to agree with the previous post. Dating in the closet is absolutely horrible. If you are going to do it, you really really need to think twice about it, especially because he is such a good friend. You don't want to lose that over something that could have been avoided because of keeping a relationship a secret.

 

Definitely be the "supportive friend" right now. Do NOT put the moves on him (it'll be tempting if he chooses your shoulder to cry on). The rest can wait.

Lex

 

I'm gonna agree that you should be supportive of your friend and wait before trying anything.

However, I still think you should come out to him. It will be good for you both to have someone else who is gay to talk to anyway. There are a lot of good reasons to come out to him, even without the intention of pursuing him.

I also agree that the closet is hell on relationships, and being in a relationship makes being in the closet much harder. It feels like a much bigger deal to be concealing a relationship and actual activities you are engaged in, rather than just your private feelings.

The fact that you have been friends since childhood does somewhat mitigate the risk of discovery though, as does the fact that you really are both closeted. The risk of discovery is then pretty much limited to people actually walking in on you making out, or whatever. Just being seen together won't be suspicious to anyone.

However, things could be very, very difficult if one of you decided to come out and the other wasn't ready.

You also have a lot more to lose in a relationship with him than you would in a relationship with someone who hadn't been your friend for such a long time. I don't think it's a good idea to start a relationship with a good friend unless both of you are really serious about it.

Anyway, come out to him, and that way you will at least both have the moral support of a long-term friend who is also gay. This will be a great help to you while you're in the closet, and hopefully eventually through the process of coming out of it.