1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Sister/Rommate Troubles

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pineapledweller, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. pineapledweller

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2010
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey all :slight_smile:

    My roommate, aka my sister, moved in with me in August. No big deal there. Well the problems began in October. She began not being home anymore. Like she was staying over at her "friends" house. I didn't really mind her not being there once or twice a week. But when she wasn't home for weeks on end, paying her half of rent a month behind, and not even checking with me when she decides to have a party, is not okay in my book. I'm at a loss. I have tried everything. I plan on moving in August for school. Our lease is a on a month-to-month basis. I guess what I'm trying to get around to is, what should I do? Should I stick it out until August? Should I just give the renting company a 30 day notice, and tell my sister to move out? Remove my name from the lease and have her deal with finding a new roommate?

    Another perspective on this situation would be great! :icon_bigg
    Thanks in advance :slight_smile:
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If she's being completely inconsiderate even after attempts to communicate about it, it probably isn't going to change. Therefore, I think I'd send an email and say, in so many words "This isn't working for me. You pay the rent late, you aren't considerate, and you don't give notice of parties, and so it just isn't going to make sense for us to continue to live together. So I'm giving you notice that I am telling the landlord that we are vacating 1 month from today. If you want to continue to stay, you can sign a new lease or whatever but i'm leaving.

    Expect that she will probably beg and plead and offer that things will change... but also expect that, at best, they might change a bit for a couple of weeks and then go back to the old pattern. If you're willing to give her one last chance then go for it but I'd suggest that you have in the back of your mind that it will end up with you moving out anyway so, if you don't want the drama, then cut it short now and move out and be done with it.
     
  3. InaRut

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2007
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal, Quebec, Canada
    Well, this is a tricky situation because you are dealing with a relative and not just a friend.

    If it was a friend I would say, give them an ultimatium and then leave if it isn't realized. However, the bond of blood exists even if the relationship doesn't and that's where living with relatives get tricky.

    I suggest you threaten to leave and certainly have that option available in your mind, however take into consideration the important aspect that she is family.

    Perhaps, you two aren't meant to live together and that is always a possibility. Dealing with rent-skippers is stressful and I've had my fair share of one last year. Still, I think you should be more careful in considering who you are going to leave if you decide to break your lease from the appartment.

    I do agree with Chip in that advice just try to remember she is family. That's all, Im saying.
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Write a hit song about it.

    Hey, it worked for somebody I know. :slight_smile:

    Actually, thought, Chip's right. Remove yourself from the situation as quickly and as painlessly as possible.

    Lex
     
  5. pineapledweller

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2010
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Haha thanks everyone for the help! I basically threatened her with her life. Things can be a bit tricky because she is my sister, but hopefully she gets the hint. I do believe she gonna start being honest with me on everything. She get's paid Friday, hopefully I can get what she owes me, plus half for this month. We shall see. I guess all else fails I can just find a new roomie until August.