Hi EC! I haven't posted in awhile ... I've been a regular trooper lately being a warrior against unkindness and keeping my feelings in check. I came to the conclusion in early January this would be my last theatre tour with the current company I am with, in fact, they have somewhat pushed me aside ever since I returned in January. I have been treated as if my opinions and thoughts don't matter. The open door policy that I thought was available had been closed on me and I became someone the company doesn't like for some reason. In a book i've read about businesses, "fire yourself, move on if things aren't working". That is just what I've done, I applied for graduate school and have been accepted in Fall 2011 for MA in Theatre. I also had a phone interview today with an amusement park, the lady said she has a good feeling about me, loved my resume, cover letter and said I would be good for their team. I'm a little confused by how the call ended, she seemed as if she wanted me but than she ended with "let me mull some thoughts over for a couple days and I'll get back to you, I also have a couple other people to call, bye for now!" I'm not sure, of course, I'm the type of person that is replaying it in my head and feeling as if I said something wrong. This is also a job that's low pay, but good experience and making connections. I would be a supervisor of a 500 seat amphitheater and stage manager for a little above minimum wage $7.95/hr to be exact. I would also have to find housing for two months, but she tells me that its not difficult because everyone else she hires is from around the area or anywhere close, that she connects people to people for living arrangements and they give a weekly stipend to assist with it. A lot is going on in my head right now, it's been very difficult to enjoy my last tour, people keeping secrets and people talking about me behind my back in my current job situation. I've been feeling under appreciated and not a part of the "family" and it has been very hard. It's been hard because the tour partner I am with on this tour is a manager with this company, I can't vent to her and when I tell her about these opportunities that I am finally getting she gets all quiet and doesn't say a word to me. She's criticized me on how I do my job and gets upset when others like me more than her. I have 9 more weeks with this company, the last four weeks I am on the road with someone new and training them ... yes, they are having me train someone on my last tour!! It's a good thing I'm moving on, I'm sad by how it all turned out. Right now I've been focusing on getting grad school squared away and focusing on the prospects of this new opportunity. I'm very tense, stressed, I often find myself stuttering, forgetting things and not speaking in complete sentences and getting my ideas across. I've been doing a lot of praying and focusing. There are days I feel defeated but I keep pushing myself to soldier on. i don't know where the next journey is taking me, I'm sad that when I leave this company I will never talk to any of these people again and why would I want to, but still it's been a bad relationship that I have wanted to work out so badly but alas it didn't. Anyhow, thanks for listening. - Kevin
