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uh oh..

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mike, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. Mike

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    So I am a mentor for this kid, its an over the internet thing... meant to help him with coming to terms that he is gay and such as well as be there for emotional support. Well it seems he hasnt been tellign me exactly evrything, it seems that he has been sexually abused as a child, and also that he is a Jehovas Witness... 2 thngs I know nothing about.
    To make matter worse, he has a "meeting" sunday with the church elders as to what has been going on :icon_eek: now I undertand I have to be impartcial to such things, but I am seriously afraid for him and what is going to happen. I don't know how to go about telling him or how to go about things... ugh, help if any would be much appreciated!
     
    #1 Mike, Mar 3, 2006
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2006
  2. Proud1p4

    Proud1p4 Guest

    Well i don't really know what question you're really asking and i never even heard of J.W's up until now...and what do you mean by 'meeting with the elders as to what has been going on'...i'd like to give you advice if you'd give me a question to go on.
     
  3. Mike

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    the follwoing link will give you some clue as to how the JW thing works..
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehova's_witness
    he told me that on sunday he has a meeting wiht the hgiher ups of the religious community where they will "help" (most likely brainwash or put restrictions upon him) through his "problem" being gay.

    my main question is how can I help him, get through this since knowing what I do about his life and his relgion I belive he will just sink lower into his depression. I don't know what to say that can be of help without offending him in some way. I guess I don't know what my question exactly is, but what would you do in a situation such as this?
     
  4. Micah

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    Without knowing too much about his situation its difficult to give specific advice. I'm not too well read on J.W's however I know they are strict. Does he plan to be truthful with his elders and tell them everything or does he plan to just lie his way out of it. How much do the elders know? How old is he? etc.

    The best thing you can do is be there for him, as someone to talk to and trust. Goodluck, if there's anything else let us know.
     
  5. Paul_UK

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    I think the only option with JWs is to lie. They do not accept homosexuality at all (and are very strict on a lot of other things too) so will go to great lengths to "convert" this kid to being "straight".

    JW and homosexuality are not compatible at all, and one or the other will have to give way. The best thing for the kid would be to distance himself from the religion and get on with his life (maybe guided by a more tolerant religion). But JWs are a forceful and determined group, and I fear he may end up going along with them. :frown:
     
  6. drhladnjak

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    I'm not even sure they would go to great lengths to "convert" him. Often times people will just get kicked out (disfellowshiped). One of my good friends was raised JW and it was actually his mother who went to the elders and had him disfellowshiped because he was gay! It's really one of the most anti-gay church groups out there today.
     
  7. joeyconnick

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    If that's the case, then I would say the best advice to give him is to lie through his teeth for now and then get the hell away from JW in the long term.

    Or, perhaps a bit more helpfully, make sure he knows he has your unconditional support and that he will be able to find people who love and accept him for who he is even if right now it seems like his world is imploding on him. Practical things like "do you have friends you can go stay with?" might be good if he's basically going to get shunned.

    If I were him, I'd try really hard to avoid the meeting today. But then I wasn't raised religiously, much less as a JW, so that's easy for me to say.
     
  8. Paul_UK

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    I have found a couple of websites that describe the JWs attitude to homosexuality:

    http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_jeh.htm
    http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/mar.htm#12

    Also take a look at "A Common Bond" at http://www.gayxjw.org/ which describes itself as "the worldwide support network for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals who are active, inactive, disassociated, and disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witnesses." That would probably be the best place to get the information and support you need for your young friend.