I have no problem at all coming out to people my peers. What's keeping me back is my family. The thing is, I know that would family would be completely supportive, but I don't want to draw all that attention to my feelings or change how they think of me. My fear of coming out to my family is an especially big issue because I have a twin brother. If I weren't a twin, I have no doubt that I would already be completely out at school. What should I do? I just turned 17 and am still almost totally closeted in my hometown. That probably didn't make sense, so please feel free to interrogate me. I could write a whole lot more and make my problems and feelings much clearer, but I'm too tired right now.
Family and friends are two completely different ballgames: So it makes complete sense to me. When you are ready to come out to them, if you want to do what you can for them to avoid thinking of you differently and making a big deal out of it, is to simply try and not make a big deal out of it yourself. Make it seem important, but not life changing. Make them remember who the true you is. They should realize that you are the same person even if it takes a little bit of time. And if your family is supportive like you say it is, and people in your family start to think of you differently or treat you differently, then you should be able to tell them how you feel, and that you want them to treat you the same way. But generally, supportive people, especially those that have been close to you for awhile (family) will see you for your true self.
You are so lucky dear! You have nothing to be afraid of, everything that you are challenged with now is just the mentality that the "might" judge you. Your family is supportive, your peers don't seem that bad, and you have a wonderful perspective on things. Like Alex said, if your family starts to treat you differently, just communicate to them that "hey, I'm the same person I am now as I always was, please don't treat me differently." For now, you just need to work up to gusto to tell them. Let me tell you what, with that kind of family, and that kind of support you will feel so much more appreciated, and sooooo much better about yourself. You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.
Well, it seems as if you feel like your twin is the lynchpin holding your closet together. The best solution, given the info provided would be to come out to him first, and use that as a way to come out more fully at school and have some backing when you come out to family. He'll probably be able to keep it a secret for at least a couple of months while you work on coming out further. You know him better than we do, though, so maybe you could tell us how you feel he would respond, and whether or not he'd be able to keep it a secret? In my mind, coming out is not something you necessarily need to do with large groups. Especially with family, I took the approach of coming out to my brother first, then to my mom, and then taking stock of which other family members would be most accepting first (which, in my case, would be cousins first, then aunts and uncles and finally grandparents). Each is a stepping stone to more coming out. I think it's impossible to come out and not have a small period of awkwardness. Family does have a habit of having plans for your future, and it will take them some time to readjust (that charming wife you were having in their minds suddenly has to drop her voice an octave and wear aftershave instead of cologne, for starters ). But you already know they'll be accepting in the end, so it will certainly be worth a coule of weeks of mild apprehension to come out on the other side and be accepted.
Hi isitso Alexi12 has it spot on,keep it simple,dont make it into a big deal and then whoever you are telling will mostly just take it in and not make a big deal of it. You sound to be in a fairly good position,as you think your family will be supportive if you could manage to come out to your twin first he could maybe confirm that your other family would be supportive.Is it possible he may also be gay/bi? None of us here will ever call you out for finding it difficult to talk to close family as we have all been there and know how hard it really is.Nearly all the coming out stories on here end positively with the op wishing they had the courage to do it years earlier. Always remember that coming out is for you and your sanity,you have a right to live your life,others wiil soon get used to it and there will always be something else come along to take any heat off of you. Good luck
changing th way friends see you and changing the way family sees you are two very different things. You know they'll be accepting, but their view on you will change. I was in this same boat last year. Just take a breath and do it at your own pace.
