Well I'm not sure if my dad is indrectly trying to let me know that he knows...

From what you've said it sounds like he probably has some idea...honestly, he'd have to be either two years old or incredibly nearsighted not to realize what your background meant. It sounds like he's showing you his support without pressuring you to come out, which is awesome. Even if he has no idea about your orientation, the fact that he's suggested watching a gay-themed movie and doesn't seem at all perturbed by gay relatives is an awesome sign. One gay girl to another? I say if you feel ready, you should come out. You'll probably have to at some point anyway, and this is the perfect chance. (*hug*)

 

Oh, he knows, hun. And it seems like he's really accepting of it. I'd go so far to say he might love to have you as his gay daughter. (Perhaps he's relieved he won't have to beat up any boys you bring home... )

But coming out is always up to you. It's still your decision. But yeah, I'd definitely say that he is trying to communicate that he accepts you for whoever you are.

Also, "The Kids Are Alright" is a great movie.

 

Haha... don't we all wish we had time machines? But we just have to do the best with what we have.
It's nerve-wracking, but once you've come out I guarantee you'll feel better. Especially to a family as supportive as yours. It seems like it's time. You can wait, but I promise - the sooner the better.

 

oh he knows and i think he's ok with it COME OUT TO HIM!!!!
no parent who has a problem with it tells everyone to watch the kids are all right haha

 

Yeah, it seems like he knows. Also, your mom knows, and if they're together, it might be hard for her to lie to him if he asked her about your gay computer background, which he probably did. That's different than just not mentioning it, you know? Even if she lied, he might be able to tell--she would be caught by surprise, and he presumably knows her pretty well.

Also, it's possible (I think likely) that mom and dad had discussions on this topic in between the first time you tried to come out to your mom, and this last, final time. I think it's likely they talked even if they aren't together, because your mom's feelings on the subject seemed to have changed some, and she mentioned your dad's gay uncles. That is, I think she feels differently now about you being gay because of talking to your dad about it in the meantime.

Think about it: you come out to your mom, and she is all upset; you therefore withdraw your coming out. But she is probably not entirely convinced, and still upset and confused. So what would she do? She would want to talk about it with someone, and when you're worried about your kid, the obvious person to talk to about it is, you know, her other parent.

So, she goes to your dad, with what you described as her "sad looks," and says something like, "Foxywolf says she's gay, but then she says it's just a phase, but I don't know and I'm so confused and what are we going to do!?"

Conversations ensue, involving beloved gay uncles who had a pet parrot, and the probability of a genetic factor in homosexuality, and how Gay People Can Have Very Happy Lives, and It's Okay If Our Daughter Is a Lesbian.

Mom slowly comes around. Soon, she can be seen looking up your first choice college to see if it's gay-friendly, and pointing out LGBT themed television programs that she thinks you might be interested in.

It's pretty unlikely that she was that worried about you and didn't talk to your dad, and also really unlikely that the about face in her attitude happened in a vacuum. So, yeah, your dad probably knows, because your mom's probably been talking to him about it all along, from the first time you tried to come out to her. He's the one that talked her down out of being upset about it.

Don't be mad at them for talking about you; it's kind of their job. They just love you, that's all. :icon_bigg

I could be wrong, of course, but that's my take on what's going on. For sure, the fact that they have both mentioned the gay uncles means that they have been talking about the gay uncles together in some context or other, though. Since you've never heard of them until recently, it seems like they've been brought into the conversation because of you being gay, but I suppose there could be some other reason for it. But they are your dad's gay uncles, so he probably brought them up first, and not your mom.

He's definitely going to be supportive--more so than your mom, really. So, yeah, you can tell him.

 

Honey, we are all nervous about things changing to some extent. But, like everyone else said, it looks like the time is presenting itself. But, if you get too scared to come out and say "I'm gay" to your parents, you could always write them a letter or email.

 

If it worries you that much right now, don't bother coming out right this second. Chances are excellent he knows, and your mother knows, so you can just operate on the assumption that everybody knows.

Lex

 

He sounds supportive, and once you get everything on the table with your family and have their support no one else matters so much. You will be so much freer to be yourself. At least that is the theory I'm going on.... For me, I'm still trying to figure out the "right time". But it looks like your "right time" just presented itself. Good luck!

 

2 gay uncles with a parrot,a father almost forcing her daughter to get out closet and a girl with a gay wolf fetish.. What a family..i loved it. (!)

 

Lex is right that you can just go forward assuming that your dad knows. Talk openly about it, like you would to someone you've already come out to. If he asks you if you are a lesbian, say yes. Next time he asks you if something of yours is gay related, say yes. If you want to be blatant, you can put some more double Venus symbols around, since he knows you know what they mean.

Coming out to your sister should not be too big of a deal, I wouldn't think. Do you have any reason to think she'll be bothered? If not, you can do it casually. I've done a lot of my coming out via text message--if you know someone's going to be accepting, the main thing is just to do it. You could send her a text:

 

What a great story! So often people come on here and post that their parents are dropping the opposite hints, and saying derogatory things about gay people--this makes me sooo happy! As everyone else has already said, he knows! And he seems to be okay with it! And that's amazing! I want to give him a father of the year award! Congrats on having a great dad!

 

99% chance he already knows. I think my Dad knew before too because he kept talking to me about how it doesn't matter who his kids love or if they're gay, but he'll still love them. It was comforting and it sounds as if your Dad just wants to give you the ability to come out freely like my Dad did.