More Drama with Mother

well put yourself in your Bf's position. Being in that position he could feel that it seems like you are ashamed of him or being gay. I mean he is something that you can't talk about. If your independent from your parents i'd say it is time to come out and let them know you are in a relationship and it is the happiest you have ever been.

in the end everyone will be better off and it will work itself out.

 

fine wait till after the vacation and do it when they get home or on the last day so they can enjoy it to the fullest if you think they will take it that badly. If you don't know how they will take it then there is no reason to wait if you know it will be a mess then as soon as they get home let them know and don't postpone it anymore because it's not worth it to

 

I would say, absolutely, the sooner the better. This will give them some time to think about the whole situation a little more rationally before talking to you about it, and might even prevent your mom from flipping out the way she did the first time you tried to come out since she will have had some days of relaxation (or at least she will be in a place conducive to relaxation).

Also, while your boyfriend's frustration is as good a reason as any to come out, make sure to do it only when you are ready and are doing it because it is what you genuinely want. Otherwise you might blame your boyfriend if things don't work out exactly as planned, which would just make matters worse by alienating you from your biggest ally in this situation.

 

Only do it if you are ready, he must know how big a deal coming out is and everyone does it at their own pace, and it would seems he is only being kept a secret from your parents, however if you are ready you cant do it on your parents time either, plus it is better to do it when they are having a good time than a bad one and they will have more vacations in their lifetime so I wouldnt worry about that.

Just do it when it is right for you, dont let anyone else push or dictate to you when you do it, it is hard and will only be made worse be external presssures!

 

If you are telling them about the boyfriend at the same time that you are coming out, make sure to remind them about the time you came out before, so that they will be less likely to blame your boyfriend for you being gay. That can be a problem.

 

I disagree with telling them while on vacation over Skype. Especially if you think she'll react badly. She'll blame you for ruining her vacation. The day or so after they get home would be good as they will still be relaxed and not all spun up from work and other daily pressures.

Personally I prefer to have difficult conversations in person. It is easy to be mad at some voice on a phone, or a face on a computer screen. It is harder to be mad at a person sitting right in front of you.

 

I agree with starfish.Also you know you are gay so its not that much deal for you.But for them it might be very surprising and ruin their vacation. Also face to face, they might feel your emotions but skype who knows.Its always easier to fight in video call,phone or text.

I think you should tell after vacation only if you think it's right time.It's your life,your family...talk it about your boyfriend first, i'm sure if he loves you, he will wait you to be ready for it.

 

I believe that you should always trust in the aura that you can project in a moment. You are a lovable son and when you do anything in front of your mom she will always think you are cute, no matter how old you are. Definitely tell her in person and use all the advantage that you can get to make the environment as loving and accepting as possible.

 

from your last post it sounds like your mom might finally be ready, and I would wait until they get home from vacation, and definitely do it in person, hopefully you live on your own and can leave if it gets ugly, but more than likely, even if they are upset at first, they'll come to terms. also, ya might wanna get the bf's advice, let him be there for you

 

If your boyfriend cares about you, he will wait another two weeks. That can be time where you can compose how you want to put things if you come out to them.

Im very sorry however to say the least. This is a real test of faith for you, I feel for you boyfriend, and agree that it isnt fair to him, but it is also unfair to push you into this. Be scirtain that this is what you want when you are going into it.

I for one think that once you have completely come out life becomes very simple.
But thats me.

Move at your own pace, keep us updated.

 

Two weeks is nothing - I set a date (and time!) to tell my parents more than a month in advance! Besides, it sounds like they already know and telling them on vacation would be like stirring the pot.

 

Well, they obviously know, denial and avoidance aside. As long as you don't bring it up, their strategy is even pretty effective.

I really don't think two weeks is unreasonable. you've waited long enough, so a couple of days isn't going to matter. You might even want to use it to prepare, inform friends that you're really going to do it and that you'd appreciate their support etc.

The actual coming out might be stormy, but you've had six years to grow since last time. You know who you are. Everyone else knows who you are. And they don't care about you being gay at all. that should give you extra courage.
Also, don't go in feeling bad for "ruining their lives". Their life is not dependant on you being straight, and they just have to deal with reality.

I'm sure your boyfriend can weather a further two weeks of waiting, on condition that it does only remain two weeks. It's tempting to find an excuse not to go through with anything on the day itself, and it's mainly constant pushing back the date that becomes frustrating.

So, steel your nerves, and prepare! you can do it!

 

I did what zerogravity did. I picked a day and a time about a week in advance and stuck to it. And I told my friends so they'd back me up.

Maybe you can pick a day and tell your boyfriend which day you plan on doing it. And then stick to that day.

 

you can do it good luck (*hug*) and i'm holding you to that promise