So before I accepted myself as being gay I would be depressed and lonely at times, but nothing too serious. Once I accepted myself, I find myself experiencing intense mood swings. One day I'll be really happy and excited for no reason whatsoever, and then that night I will become super depressed and just want to be by myself and cry. It has gotten so bad that it makes me feel anxious, angry, hopeless, and physically sick. When I get like that I just have no desire to do anything with anyone. It is hard because I am at university where I feel like I should be social but I just have no desire too, but then I get upset when I see my friends having fun. I have a feeling that this has to do with still being in the closet but I can't be sure. Is there any way I can avoid getting depressed, or do I just have to wait until I am fully out?
Hi there and first thing, welcome to EC I am by no means a health professional so I can only try to help you based on what you've written and on my own experience in dealing with depression. That is possible that the fact you've been struggling for a long time with being gay and that you finaly had started to accept your orientation and started to come out had triggered those moods swings. For one part the fact you've accepted you're gay and started to come out is probably a huge relief, and for the other, you're still in the closet for most people and that is probably difficult and stressful. Not mentionning that struggling with accepting yourself has gay may have leave you "scares" (for lack of better words) that can still affects you in some way. The best thing to do, as it is bothering you and is making you feel very bad sometimes, is to talk about it to a counselor. Your university probably has one that you can see for free. They'll probably be able to help you dealing with this. You can also try to check if your university has some kind of LGBT association or a GSA. Meeting other LGBT people may help you feeling even more at ease with yourself, and that may help you to realize you're not alone on this boat. Many LBGT teens are struggling with the same kind of issues you're struggling with. Meeting some of them and talking about your issues may be a huge support. I also suggest you to stick around EC. It is a great place to get support, ask questions and meet people who'll be able to relate to what you're going through and give you a hand with it. Feel free to create treads about whatever issues you're having and to post on other people's threads and walls. You're also very welcome to contact any advisors about anything you'd like to talk privately. Listening and trying to help is what we're all here for. Take care and see you around, Cécile
I ditto, talking to a counselor really is a great idea, and they can't tell anyone, so you won't be outed for doing so. It helps to be able to talk to someone, or they can prescribe something if its chemical and not just emotional. in the meantime take a little heart in the fact that you're not alone
You need to speak with a therapist and also get on some sort of medication. Also, speaking to people also helps.
This is not the proper advice. Medication is not the answer to everything. Yes it is a good idea to seek help, but be cautious. Medications are in my opinion just smoke screens for your emotions, they only help to repress your thinking abilities. Not to mention they are toxic and not good for your liver. Find someone you can talk to, a counselor or therapist, but try and avoid MD's because they most of the time have no idea what their talking about when it comes to physiology. They just want to push medications and make money most of the time. It sounds like you have a pretty typical case being scared of coming out. These are common side effects of not accepting who you are completely yet. I feel like as you progress and move towards being more comfortable with yourself, in and out of society then you will feel much less awkward and depressed. Good luck, and keep us informed.
