Hey y'all. So this isn't strictly LGBT related, but it's something I've been thinking hard about and need some outside perspective. I'm planning on moving into a new place with my best friend and his girlfriend within the next few months. We actually found this awesome place that's like a half-hour walking/public transit commute from my job (as opposed to my 2+ hour commute currently) that has a ton of room and a great outdoor space. When we saw it yesterday, we basically fell in love with it. The only issue? It costs $2700 a month, 900 each. My tentative budget is 750. We're going to try to negotiate it down, but even if we get it down to 2500 (best case scenario) that's still a good 75 bucks that I can't afford each month. It would be simple math, if there weren't a couple of additional issues at play here: First off, this place is a two bedroom plus den. My friend and his girlfriend would be sharing a room, but they want to keep the den as a study area instead of getting a fourth roommate, which would significantly defray the cost. My friend was lucky enough to get a great scholarship for college, so he still has most of the money saved for his tuition set aside. Because they really want this place and don't want to get a fourth, he's offered to cover whatever extra above the 750 the rent ends up being until I can get more money. I'm a little hesitant to take such a loan from my friend. I don't want this money thing to ruin our friendship, most of all. He's been my best friend for years and was the first person I came out to. The fact that he offered the loan means he trusts me to get it back. That being said, I'm not entirely sure when I would able to pay it back. I currently work freelance at a nonprofit, and some of the executives are bringing up hiring me full time at the next board meeting during this week. I won't know if I get any sort of raise (my budget is based on if I'm brought in full time at my current rate) until maybe Tuesday. And we want to move to secure this place quickly - as in, make an offer this afternoon. I guess what it boils down to is: should I take this loan from my friend, considering all those crazy complexities up there?
I don't really know, but if you are sure you will not be able to pay it back then don't. Maybe you should seriously talk to your friend about this but there is really nothing you can do now since you are going to make an offer this afternoon so this will have to be a yes or no answer because this is a little rushed if it's happening in the afternoon :/ what about your parents? do you think they could lend you the money instead? That way you won't have to feel you owe your friend alot :/ I wish you all the best with this!
Make sure he knows that you don't know when you'll be able to pay him back, and that it really is okay with him. If he really understands that, it's probably fine. Is he the sort of person that will hold it over your head? Remember that he and his girlfriend want to move into the place too; it's not like he isn't getting anything out of it. He's making the offer because it will allow him to get what he wants, not just because he's helping you out. He'll be covering part of your share of the rent, and you will be agreeing to take on the obligation of debt, to accomplish what you both want. You are both really are "giving" something here--you don't really want to owe, so agreeing to it is a concession from you. As long as everyone (including the girlfriend) understands that the arrangement is a compromise on both sides, and not something that makes you beholden to your friend, I think you can agree to do it. He does have to know that you have no way of knowing when it will be possible for you to pay him back, though.
Could you get another part time job to help with expenses? I'm sure there has to be a health club, library, restaraunt or something like that nearby. Don't know if that was something you had looked into, but just an idea.
Okay, i did rent a house with some other people in my early 20's. Here is my experience and advice. Firstly..is it really a 3-way equal split? Will you be using the common areas as much, or more then, or maybe not at all? These are factors to consider. If they want to keep the den as a study and not a 4th, but you want a 4th and not a study, negotiate that. Perhaps you wouldn't even use a study, why should you pay for it? As other posters mentioned, make sure that everyone is ABSOLUTELY clear on what the financial arrangements are. If your friend is picking up part of your rent payment with expectation of being paid back, make sure the terms are clearly defined. Even if you don't know when you can pay him back, let him know that you will start an IOU account with him to keep track of what you owe him. It will make him feel better about it and also keeps you accountable. This is very important if you want to ever be friends with him in the long run. As for coming in full time to your work. You should get a raise. You will be working more..responsibilities will be more. If the board tries to get you to commit to working full time and maintain the same pay, they are trying to rip you off. Plain and simple. Just because a business is a Charity or a Non-Profit, doesn't mean that they can get off by underpaying staff. In a lot of cases these type of companies actually have money to spend on staff, but don't for whatever f@#ked up reason they can come up with. Good luck
Going into a place *knowing* you can't afford it is a bad idea. Even if your friend loans you the money, if things happen, something goes wrong (you need your car fixed, or have medical bills, or some other unexpected expense comes up) then you're still in a bad spot. And things like seasonal variation in utility costs, or deciding what temperature to keep the house (and therefore affect the heating or cooling bills) will put added stress on things, since you won't have the money to contribute if the other housemates decide they want more heat or more A/C in the appropriate seasons. Also, your friend loaning you money will open up whatever money you spend to micromanagement by your friend... whether he says it or not, each time you buy Starbucks or get fast food, or drive somewhere to visit your friend, he may end up thinking "Hey, he has money to do that, why am I loaning him money to get by." In short... it has a good possibility of putting a big strain on your friendship and I would suggest that avoiding that is probably your best bet.
Hey guys, thanks for the responses. We ended up calling the broker, there was confusion on both fronts, my friend thinks I wasn't being honest with him, long story short, we've put the whole thing on hold till I find out what this job situation is this Tuesday. Feeling a little down about my role in it, but whatever. I actually talked to my parents last night and they made it clear they can't loan the money. However, talking with my mom today, she said she could possibly loan me 500. If it comes in, that's great, but its not really a source I want to count on since that situation could change at any moment. In either case, I would be uncomfortable being in debt to two people who I have pretty strong personal relationships with. See, I'm not entirely sure. There was a time when he might of (we're talking shitty emotionally charged early teen years) but notsomuch anymore. At least now he knows where I stand on this shit, even if he is a bit mad at me. I actually am looking into that - in fact, that would be ideal - but its hard to gauge beyond Craigslist and websites before I move into the area.
Well, i would agree with what Chip said...not a good idea to move into a place knowing you can't afford it at the start. And I have seen a lot of friendships dented because of money issues. I would advise against it. It is an excellent sign of trust that he would offer that to you...you should return the favor by graciously declining.
Hey everyone, just an update. Thank you all for talking some sense into me. We ended up not getting the place and we'll be looking at something more in our price range this weekend. Now if I could only get my job to give me full time...
Hi there! I think looking for something that is withing your price range is a good idea! I have to agree with others that asking your friend to lend you the money is never a good idea. It can ruin friendships. Before you continue looking for a place, wait and see what your job situation is going to be like. Has the board made a decision? Have they given you an indication as to for how long they might keep you on as part-time? Are there chances that you could go full-time in the next couple to few months? If you can't get more full time work at the place where you are currently working at, and you realize you need more of an income, I'd suggest starting to put your feelers out for other positions. Now, given that you are working within a non-profit, have you considered networking with others within the non-profit sector or other similar organizations such as yours? Doing that, will allow you to learn as to whether there are other opportunities available at other non-profits (as a lot of non-profits don't advertise job openings or opportunities). Maybe try finding out if there are networking events for workers within non-profits and if you can start attending them, and introduce yourself. Alternatively, you can look for another part time job that could help you to supplement your income. However, having two part time jobs (and depending on what they are) can potentially be more draining mentally and physically than a full time job. Just something to think about.
Actually... just found out this morning that I'm starting full time next week! I feel much better than I did a week ago, let me tell you. I won't find out the details till Monday. We're actually looking at more places tonight, so this is a real relief. Obviously won't sign anything until Monday after I better know the details of my job, but all my budgeting is based on a worst case scenario - that I'm brought on full time at my current freelancing rate. Hopefully it'll be a little better than that because I'm taking on more responsibilities, but yay so far!
Congrats on the job offer!! I was thinking the same as Trace about getting a part time job, but maybe that won't be needed if your income goes up and you find a cheaper place. Might not be a bad idea still to give you more cushion for unexpected expenses/savings, but maybe you've budgeted with enough cushion already. Hopefully whatever happens you can save some percent of your income each month. Spend less and save more will help you in the long run. Good luck in your job and finding a place
