I need someone to tell me that I'm not alone...

One of the things I have to keep telling myself is this: "Labels don't matter. Gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian...you love who you love, and you should be proud of who you are. I know exactly how it feels to feel like you have to pick a side, but the truth is, you really don't! I hope this was helpful! -Kristine

 

You are not alone by far. Like the person above me said, you don't have to choose a label in order to describe yourself. Just be exactly who you want to be and don't look back

You will find people that support you for exactly who you are and who can understand you. Maybe not completely, but they will be there for you. Just give yourself time to find them.

And don't worry about haters. Ignorant people are everywhere, even in the gay community. Its up to you to stand up for what you feel and believe in. Don't let anyone else tell you how to act or how you are suppose to feel. Its not up to them, its completely up to you. Create your own box however you want to and be happy with it

I'm sorry that you are feeling alone right now (*hug*)

 

Dear, you are not alone.

Yes, people are wrong sometimes, and I'm sorry that the queer community has disappointed you. No body is perfect. Whether you are lesbian, Bisexual, Heterosexual, Purple, Polka dotted, or whatever you are who you were meant to be.

Labels are out society's tool to identify who each person is. It sucks that we have them, but it is a fact. You can decide to live a life with out labeling some people, but sub-consciously your always going to be thinking: fat, tall, gay, girl, boy, red. Thats just how we are.

You can ask to live a life without labels, or you can ask to live a life of acceptance of the labels we have. Which do you prefer? I see one more realistic than the other.

With all my heart, your friend

 

*hugs*

You're not alone.

 

Your not alone. Just be you.

 

Hun you're not alone, it really depends on the community you're around, because I have friends who Idenify as not only queer, but genderqueer as well, it all just comes down to you, as long as you can find what you're comfortable as being, whether it's a definition, an undefined or no definition at all It's all up to you, and only you to decide on that *hugs*

 

I know how you feel. I spent most of this term at Uni lying in my room slowly getting more and more depressed about how lonely I felt, because no-one knew I was gay, and I felt like I was gonna be alone for the rest of my life. I know what's it's like to feel so afraid of people rejecting you that you begin to reject yourself a little - I am out of that place now. If you have one good, open minded friend that loves you, try telling them. It will be difficult - it was horrendously hard for me, but afterwards, you feel like a weight has been lifted, and something DOES change - you won't be alone anymore.

 

people need to put a tag on thing so they can pi them down and understand them. Its just how people are, we all like to say things like, "I don't believe in labels" but then they'll turn around and label other people, even if they don't mean to. Its human nature, so don't feel so alone.

As far as not having people understand you, most of can relate to that, and not just on the gay front, people identify a single aspect of your character with you, just because they can't see all the angels of yourself like you can.

 

I'm sorry you feel that way. Like everyone else has said, you're not alone sweetie.

Even though I'm gay, I hate being labelled. I feel that we should be known for being ourselves and not the label we are given. I mean, I don't get introduced as "the gay guy" and you shouldn't be introduced as "the queer girl". It is easier said than done not to label people, and if the community you want to rely on can't accept you for the feelings that you have, then they are jerks.

At times, even I feel incredibly lonely, and EC has really helped me out. Like TyRawr told me, people on here can be the best people you need right now. Hang in there. And I wish you all the best.

*hugs*

 

Not sure where you're hanging out where you're being forced to "choose sides". None of the gay/bi/etc friends I know would ever pressure anybody to choose. They might ask "what are you?", or they might be a bit overly "helpful" by saying "Oh, if you think X and Y, you're probably Z". But that's not supposed to be pressure - it's supposed to be helpful. There's nothing wrong with sticking with "still trying to work it out", and don't bother trying to explain it further if you don't feel like it.

Lex

 

Aww im sorry you are feeling so lost. I think often friends or people you meet gay or straight try and offer advice but often this can come across in the wrong way, the problem is whilst all of us have similarities in our stories but we also have differences and differences in our personality so what might be helpful to one person might come across as forcing to another, I think the most important thing is not to force yourself into any label and just go with what you feel most at the time, I know its difficult but it will get easier. If you dont find the affinity and the support you need within the group or groups of people you are socialising with at the moment then just keep looking you will find the right people be them gay or straight.

Also whilst it is great to have real life support in the meantime here at EC we are all here for you.

---------- Post added 14th Mar 2011 at 06:31 PM ----------

Oh and PS you are not alone.

 

You're not alone!

I used to think that for the longest time. I think it's because I thought my sexuality was one thing (bi) but it's really something else (gay). But that was just my journey.

I've never really fit in with girls (yeah I have female friends), but I'm more of a 'bro'. I've always identified more with guys. It took me till this year to realize that I'm a 'bro'. Not just because of my sexual orientation, but because of other interests and things. But that's who I am. It took me a long time to figure that out.

There are going to be haters no matter where you go. It doesn't matter. Someone will find something about you to hate on. Unfortunately, there are people like that in the gay community, because they have their views and it's never going to change. But here's the good thing about haters, you can brush them off! Just ignore 'em and keep going.

You will find friends and relationships. It takes time. I knew that I was into girls when I was 12. I didn't have a relationship with a girl till I was 17! But I focused on being friendly with all kinds of people and other things I was interested in. I've made a lot of friends with a lot of people from different cliques (gotta love high school).

Just keep working hard, keep doing what you're doing. Don't worry about your label. If people ask, you can say, "You know, I'm not a jar of peanut butter! I don't have a label! But I know I'm not all the way straight!" You'll get a laugh (if you laugh that is). Humor is a good device to defuse serious questions you don't want to (or can't) answer. Plus, it shows that you're very comfortable with the fact that you don't label yourself. It shows that you're not afraid of who you are and your lack of labels.

Any girl who tells you, "I don't want to date you because you're not a gold-star or you won't say I'm a lesbian," isn't worth dating or being friends with. She's shallow and only concerned with labels and not the full substance of you. You don't want to surround yourself with people like that.

Just keep forging your journey and most importantly, believe in yourself. (*hug*)

 

Labels are just so we can understand and figure out how to relate to each other. In theory anyway. You may be something different to different people. Whatever label is slapped on for the moment... being you is enough.

 

...it's not acceptable to identify as queer? Oh, oops. Guess I need to change my orientation now.
Hun, listen. You don't have to conform to labels. Labels are as shallow as the people who created them. Whoever told you it isn't ok that you don't have a label, just ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about.
You can be you. Sexuality doesn't conform to any rules. And you don't have to make it so your sexuality does.
And for the record, LGBTQA is the awesomest way to say it. So there.

 

you are definitely not alone, shown by the fact that this thread is climbing in posts. I totally understand what you mean by just being defined as being you, and not having a label. One of my best coming out experiences involved an old family friend, who considered me coming out as nothing more than a good test grade, she didn't say anything surprising, but just kept the conversation rolling! That's my hopeful view of society for one day, when no one has to feel the pressure of coming out to people, and everyone is accepted for who they truly are...

 

Gay or straight or bi or unlabeled, any person that makes you feel so alone and misunderstood does not deserve a place in your life. Unfortunately, you will find ignorant people in any given community, especially within such a diverse one as the LGBT community.

When I first joined the LGBT group at my school, I felt completely out of place. I felt that I had left a repressive heteronormative territory only to find myself in a repressive homonormative one, if that makes sense. People had very strong opinions about how I should experience and express my gayness. I refused to do so. That is a false choice; you do not have to choose between feeling uncomfortable as part of the LGBT community or feeling uncomfortable outside of it. You can find your niche and friends that will appreciate and respect you fully for exactly who and what you are. You might not find those people within the LGBT community, and that is perfectly fine.

 

Alone? Please, it looks like i wrote some of this.

But hey, we can be alone together (*hug*)

 

Even recently this brought up in GSA where a guy and a girl there (while identifying as gay) were like "labels are stupid" and about being who you want to be. I know a few who use queer. I will even say I am queer/a queer, but not in a negative way.

I can see some people getting caught up in the politics, so to speak, of the LGBT community (I leave the Q out because it just becomes too many letters) and getting really militant about some things, but I believe we're about freedom to be since that's kind of the point of being freed from heterosexism.

Labels...honestly, they are just words. Find the words which feel right for the present and let them make you proud and feel good about who you are. If they cease to have use or to be a good thing, well, you can always discard them. The point is finding you and letting you be known, not to betray you for another you who is a lie. Those are what those words are good for.

For me, it's not even about being gay/lesbian, it's just being honest that I am primarily attracted to women and probably will not feel what I feel for some women what I do for men, simple as that. Though I do get my kicks from being able to say "hey I'm gay. Hey, I'm lesbian and I think it's awesome!"