3 straight woman vs 1 confused guy. 1.My ex girlfriend.Thanks to our mutual friend we will meet soon.She will probably flirt with me again and again.I can say i was between jerk and kind to her.But She always tried to have connection.Even her new boyfriend couldn't stop some secret stuff between us.So there is a possibility she might try to get me. 2.My ex girlfriend and one of my best friend. She is living far from me.I loved her too much so confusion got bigger.I didn't want to fail her so i left her.She kinda forced me to tell her i have never been in love with her.Anyway, i tried to stay away from her then, because it really hurts me to caused her some pain and also reminds me i will never have what i want.When i try to stay away, she kept messaging me.Told me she wanted me again as friend.She was flirtous but i was cold like a fish she become friendly.But i don't like to the idea of "friend" I have to choose my words carefully not to give some hope and also every minute i feel more failure because i'm not like "majority" So i kept myself very limited from her.Now she told our mutual friend she feels bad and insecure that im staying away from her. 3.The girl we hang out.I was into flirtous mood.I didn't have girlfriend.I thought it might be nice but i cooled off when she was too into meeting with my parents.Anyway i dumped her for second woman on list.(no offense ladies.) However i have no idea why she keeps trying to get me somehow even when i was quite jerk to her.She is keep texting me and we get friendly.Whenever we get friendly she becomes more flirtous.. I know these problems next to nothing self accept or coming out to parents but i must say its very disturbing.A part of me kinda proud that 3 hottie seems still into me when i was not so great to them.. A part of me feels so terrible because i feel like a failure,i feel like i'm not the man i always want to be.Also i don't wanna break anyone's heart more. Coming out to them (even just as im confused) not an option.Last time i did that terrible things happened. Any advices?
So one girl is your ex, another girl was more interested in meeting your parents and the third girl you are currently dating?
First one my old ex, second one new ex too third one was the one i flirted before.(well she told me she loves you before, if thats flirting.) I'm not dating with anyone currently.However, interests of them bugging me.i feel like an amputed guy chosen for a soccer game.
So you want to avoid dating them but you want to be friends is what I gather: I like Lex's comment. Don't be so upset that they are still trying to be your friend though, that means that at least they are willing to move on. And you can always back out of being in a relationship. "I'd rather just be friends" or with the other two "It didn't work out, and I don't think it will". If you wanted to try being with one of them, don't rush into anything serious at all. Take things slowly and see how it is going. <<I loved her too much so confusion got bigger.I didn't want to fail her so i left her.She kinda forced me to tell her i have never been in love with her>> Maybe to her you can say that you did love her, but then just explain to her why it didn't work out.. that is if the situation comes up. Although I don't quite understand the reason you left her..? Why would you fail her?
Lex, its more like i want to play but i don't have legs for it.Thanks though. Maybe i'll try to be cold or boring again. Bad part they think im acting like a cool guy when i do that, do you know what i mean? they start to become more flirtous. Like being fucked up is not enough.. not this.I can't stand life anymore, I wanna move some island and live like Robinson Crusoe. ---------- Post added 19th Mar 2011 at 10:00 AM ---------- Because i might be gay.She was so much in love with me (at least that what she was saying) and probably will be more if i didn't do anything about it. That would be terrible for her that i might say "i'm gay." in future.i just cut it before getting much deeper. (she had suicidal past also because of her ex, i think i did right thing for her mental health.) I said i love her so much. However she keep asked if im in love with her.i said no, because i didn't want to give any hope. (she is far,so she might think its distance.) I dont think she wants to get me back. I'm not okay with being just a friend though. Letting her go was enough for me. Other girls are wants to keep in touch for other reasons.Sex,flirt or relationship.Friendship is just a mask.
The problem that I see is that all your problems revolve around caring about what they think, feel, expect etc. What about what you want? Don't you want to feel for someone as strongly as they feel for you? Like lex said, just tell them that you are not interested. You don't have to come out if you don't want to. Just think about yourself for a minute and don't worry about how you will let them down. Pretty sure they can handle themselves
I don't want to feel strong feelings like that because my emotional state isn't so stable.I'm not into any relationship. It is really hard to keep relationship when you are confused. What i want? I want to be straight. Unfortunately it seems i'll be always in conflict.Anyway, i'll try to stay out from relationship..and stay away from flirting. (if it works ) Thanks for advices.
Maybe you don't have to purposely try and avoid dating people alltogether while you are uncertain about things. These girls may not be a good choice for the reasons you gave, but maybe something much less serious with guys or girls. This way you can learn more about how you feel without severely hurting someone's feelings. But if you truely love someone, and they love you, labels shouldn't matter (gay, bi, pansexual, etc.). Hope that helps
Tell them that you are dealing with some personal issues right now and you don't want to get into a relationship because you're not 100 percent yourself and you don't want to hurt them by being in a relationship with them.
