How to turn down a girl who is in your circle of friends...

just be honest, if she asks you out, politely decline and explain that you're interests are elsewhere atm, or if shes just flirting, you can kinda slip in a brief tidbit about the situation, and how its a bummer or however you wanna put it, either way, just try and be really nice or it could be a big stick in the mud for your friendship, or a point of contention among your new friends.

 

Honesty is probably best, unless you can't tell her about the poly girl for some reason. "I really don't think I should start dating anyone while I'm still hung up on so-and-so." If you don't want to mention the poly girl, you can modify it to, "I don't think I should go out with you while I'm still hung up on someone else."

If she feels like you mislead her, just apologize and explain that you are just a little baby in the queer world, and you are still trying to figure out how to be polite without leading someone on, and things like that. It complicates things when the people who are your friends are also your potential partners, and it can take some adjusting to.

 

Honesty is the best policy, even if it will hurt this girl. I think she'd rather get turned down, than led on.

If she makes a pass at you, take her aside and say, "Look [name]. You're a great girl and you deserve someone really awesome. But, I'm just not interested in you. I'm with [girl in the poly relationship's name]. I don't want to hurt you, so can we just be friends?"

And if you can't tell about the other girl just exclude that line. I'm sure your friend will really appreciate your honesty. Plus, it may seem to her like you're sending mixed signals if you aren't honest with her. She might mistake your kindness for flirtation. Or your avoidance as playing 'hard to get.' Things will just get messier the longer you put off telling her the truth.

 

Honesty is nearly always the best policy. You can turn someone down without being rude or mean or jeopardizing friendships. Just say "I'm really flattered by your interest, but to be honest, I'm simply not interested in you like that. Thanks though." That's all you need to say.

Lex