how depressing...

Wow, that is quite the kick in the pants my dear friend.
First of all, I think that was a very responsible for you to think to not break up their relationship. I think it is okay to stay friends but be cautious of the feelings that exist between you. Try to stand your ground in this matter and if things get a little outta hand take the morale highground and get out of there.

In a way, if you both refrain from any expression of a physical relationship, then it will help you REALLY tell what kind of guy he is and help him see that you are "serious." Although everyone does make mistakes, I think you already know, that cheating is not something usually taken lightly.

Also keep in mind I would not exactly call this a rejection either. The best analogy I can think of is you went to the store to buy some poutine but the store had just run out of fries and gravy. Should the store ever restock their poutine supplies then the option is still there. It's not like you went to the store and they said, "Poutine? Well that's only for platinum members."

(Use) <- Ugh bad word, your friendship as an achoring ground to really evaluate this guy. But also, if he's REALLY attracted to you and you're REALLY attracted to him, then take the caution or get out of there. Because there is nothing worse then being caught cheating.

 

Well cheer up mate, at least you confronted/asked, and, at the end of yor life, you may or may not get what you wanted, but you went after what you wanted. And that's always a good thing. I am too afraid to even go after what I want.

 

That's not a rejection,cheer up! At least he told you he is dating with somebody.

I remember once a girl told me that she found a handsome guy and tried really hard to get him.Then in foreplay she found he has small package and laugh at that and dressed up. Now, that's a rejection.

..and they say men are assholes.

 

I think it's best for you to let him make the decisions about his relationship. If he wants to break up with this guy for you, then he does. If he doesn't, he doesn't. It's admirable that you're not going to try to break them up.

You guys can stay friends, I'm sure of it. Just remember that it might get hard sometimes. You guys can hang out and stuff, just try not to put yourself in a situation where you're all alone in some secluded spot with him. Go to a restaurant or a coffee shop, hang out with other friends if you're going to be at each other's house.

If the guy cheats on his boyfriend with you, well you kinda know everything you need to about him. I don't see it as a rejection, at least he was honest with you. He could've led you on and really hurt you when you found out that he was with someone else.

And hey, who's to say that in a week his boyfriend won't cheat on him, or break up with him for some reason? Things happen, people change their minds. You can hope for this guy, but just remember to keep your options open. Who's to say that in a week, you won't meet a really really awesome dude?

Don't lose hope, there's someone out there for you. Just keep your head up and your hopes high (*hug*).

 

Well, as "rejections" go, that's about as nice as it gets: he definitely isn't just blowing you off, he's just already committed elsewhere. I know it's disappointing, but try to feel good that he likes you enough that it was difficult for him to say no, even though he is in an existing relationship. That's actually a really big compliment.

You can still be friends with the guy, but you might want to avoid being alone with him, since it sounds like you both really like each other. It might help if you meet his boyfriend, so that he is a real person to you instead of an abstraction--so that you will feel more like you shouldn't do things to hurt him.

The guy you like has to work things out about his relationship based on the relationship itself. If he leaves his boyfriend for you, he will constantly be comparing the two of you in his mind, and you won't always come out on top. If he breaks up with his boyfriend, you want it to be because it really wasn't working with the boyfriend, so that if he goes out with you, he can look at the new relationship independently of the old one.

Also, you don't know if it would work out for you two anyway. It's not fair to break up a relationship that seems to be working.

Make sure the guy knows that if he breaks up with his boyfriend, it has to be a decision he makes independently of whether he's going to be with you. He might take his interest in you as a sign that his relationship isn't working, but he shouldn't make the decision based on the idea that he will be with you, instead.

On the other hand, it's always good to have more friends, and especially gay friends. Knowing this guy and his boyfriend could potentially introduce you to a wider circle of people.

 

Shortly after I came out I met a guy that seemed really nice - actually it was the first guy I ever went on a date with. We went out a couple of times - he introduced me to a bunch of his friends, but nothing serious happened. Anyways, he told me he was seeing 2 other people already, a guy who was still in high school and an older rich guy from LA that came to town from time to time, but he wanted to date me too. I was like LOL are you joking? He was like "no, I like you but I just want to be honest". Anyways, I stopped seeing him because that wasn't the kind of thing I was looking for.

So the people that he introduced me to are now my circle of gay friends, so I guess it wasn't such a bad thing. Plus at least he told me before things got serious between us so there are no hard feelings. I still see him from time to time (in social settings) and it's a bit awkward but we're still friendly to one another.