I really don't know what advice I'm looking for, I guess this is more of a rant, or somthing for me to write out and think about...while getting others inputs? I honestly don't even know what I'm saying...just trying to geth thoughts organized, so it may be sloppy. Pestimistic? I don't know... I just look at the world, and I wouldn't care if it ended... I wouldn't care if everyone on the face of the earth vanished, in the blink of an eye. Maybe I'm not that extream in those thoughts? I don't neccasarly hate the world...I just don't trust the world, it is wrong... Its not safe and fair like your parents are suspose to tell you as a child. Why should you get raised like that anyways? You should get use to lossing stuff as a child. I look at others who get hurt so esay about lossing somthing, and thats going to be a natural part of life... Optimistic? I honestly don't know if I can call myself that anymore... Yes, I'm happy around my friends, and other people. Most of my friends have never seen me depressed, they always see me happy...Only a couple of my friend know me for me. I feel like a total lyer for being like that...I'm fake for being like that? Why can't I trust people that are remotly close to me?Why can't i open up more? Why must I act happy when I'm not? It so frustrating! I don't understand what I'm? Why I'm sad? What making me sad...it's so irritating trying to find yourself out... If you control your own body and thoughts...then why is it so hard to understand yourself? You should know yourself best! yet I don't. My body,soul,etc (whatever) sends me mixed emotions about everything...huh...
Sometimes the search for who were are, and where we fit into the world at large, can be less-than-pleasant. We find out unpleasant things about ourselves, those closest to us, people in general, the world at large. It can be tough to face the fact that we all have limitations, and we all won't be Olympic-gymnast, Nobel-prize-winning, rock stars who are secret-identity superheros at night. But it's worth getting to the other side. Once you get a better grasp of who you are, and what you're capable of, and how the world works, life simplifies quite a bit. So keep it up. Keep trying new things. You'll find your spot. Lex
The sense of accomplishment grows the harder the task is. Nobody feels great about shooting the first thing in the video game - everybody can do that. It's when you finish the entire game that you feel like you really did something. Same idea. But a much bigger accomplishment. Lex
