Hey, Lets start with the basics here... I want to have a relationship. Badly. I'm horribly and incurably a romanticist, and spend far too much time reading sappy love stories. Problem is, I seem to have no luck whatsoever in being able to start/maintain one. I think the biggest issue is that, because I am Asexual (though that is a pretty umbrella term. Look it up if you're really interested), I have very different expectations of dating than most people do. I want someone to love, cuddle and take to movies. Someone I can talk to and spend time with... Pretty normal, right? Thing is, thats where all my expectations/desires stop. Where most people would seem to want a more intimate relationship than that, I don't. Ask me why all you want, I won't be able to explain it to your satisfaction. Anyways. I'm sort of looking for advice on how to actually get into a relationship... I mean, all the times I have tried, it seems to me that there is a huge pressure for sex, especially within the Gay community (at least where I live.... it may be different elsewhere for all I know.) Can you date someone simply for the purpose of dating? Has anyone done this successfully? give me stories! please. Luv. Kaleb.
I listened to a podcast about asexuality once - apparently its something like 1% of the population is asexual, but it's mostly older unmarried religeous women. But I love stats, and I used to think I was asexual, so I'll try this out. The percentage of gay men who are asexual might be less than 1%, but let's just assume it's the same as the average, 1% - but it could be higher for all I know. So let's assume: Canberra has a population of 350 000. 50% of which are males 10% of which are gay 1% of which are asexual (350,000*0.5*0.1*0.01). So, accroding to these assumptions, there are 175 asexual gay males in Canberra. Take out the ones that don't fit into your age range (let's say 50%), and you are left with around 87 potential mates! How do you find these guys? Well the internet for starters. The odds of running into one randomly are very low. We are talking about 1 in every 4000 people. You might pass them on the street, but how would you know for sure? I don't mean to be discouraging - but because you are talking about a limited dating pool, the only way to a similar person is to meet more people - and as bad as the odds are you only need to find 1! :icon_bigg
Honestly,I think it's harder to date in the gay community when you're younger and not be looking for sex. Especially depending on where you want to meet people. Such as if you go to a gay bar it's going to be hard to meet someone who "just wants to cuddle." At the same time, you meet a girl at a bar and bring her home she might be a bit upset when all you want to do is watch a movie. Hahaha. I guess it's a "Bar" thing. Although I don't really agree with it, there is always the option of online dating. As a pro you can filter through the people that perhaps aren't looking for an online relationship but as a negative...Ehhhhhhh Online dating X_X. I recommend trying to get out there and just meeting people. Join a club, sports team, or start frequenting regular hang out spots. The more you meet people the more people are going to know other people, and the more chance you have at a completely "chance" encounter with someone who possibly feels the same way you do. Afterall friends are always great for, "I have this friend who you just GOTTA meet." ...Although I lack luck in that field it's only because my self confidence barrier prevents me from learning the expression, "Beggars can't be choosers." Hahahahaha! Edit: Zerogravity! I was going to be first!
Ah, maths... You know, as much as I believe in it, I still find it kind of hard to believe that there really is anywhere near that number. Internet dating is no fun... Been there, done that. But thanks for the advice, anyways... worth a shot, if nothing else ^^.
are they exactly what they sound like? you just meet up and cuddle random people? I love to cuddle but im not sure I'd want to with someone I just met and didn't 'like'.
