After reading several and very interesting coming out stories i think i finally got the courage to type something up here. I dont know were to start at times but joing EC i think it will help me out alot especially not feeling as if im the only one that is going thru what im going thru. I am in the DENIAL STAGE! (and i think i have been for quite a while) i think that i keep trying to find the answer to a question ive been asking knowing the answer too! I know i am Bisexual but the hardest part is ACCEPTING it? IN a way for myself. i have been called lesbian and bi alot by my friends (i obviously say no) but everything i say or the comments i make the remarks they look at me and say you like girls? im like woah if my close friends know that why am i still in denial? ? ? Society? (before this wouldve been a main reason but now its not) Family? (I know my family loves me regardless) But for me accepting that i am gay i see all my "future" plans out the window (you all know that idea of marriage between a man and a woman is engraved in my brain) i feel that i wont be able to have a family of MY own. i see past one or two years i want a partner. ive only been in relationships with men (but all of them i have fantazied about women EVERY SINGLE relationship even the current one i am in.) i keep being in realtionships with men bc i find it easier than putting myself out there looking for the right girl (that i know shes out there for some reason i feel it) i guess this is my coming out?? to you? or to me? an essay to me. i guess. All i know is that in finding myself these past 3 years have certainly open the doors to a hole lot of other stuff in my life. I have learned to love myself. i have no doubt of that but i still dont feel that i am being honest to myself. hope this made sense it did to me when i typed it. if anyone reads this thank you so much for taking the time i truely appreciate it (where ever you may be) LiveLoveLaughRave =0)
Hi! Welcome to EC. Many of us have a hard time coming out to ourselves. Don't beat yourself up over it--it takes as long as it takes. You seem relatively young, so you're ahead of the game. Some people are married with children before they figure it out. Some are past middle age, with grown children. The fact that you have come to EC, and are approaching the issue, means that you have come to a point of being more ready to deal with it. It sounds like you have some very supportive (and perceptive) friends. That's wonderful--it will be really helpful to you. (I would say it has already been helpful to you, in helping you to realize that your attraction to women is unusual. If no one says otherwise, it's easy to assume that everyone just feels the same way you do about things.) Are you satisfied in your relationship with your current boyfriend? I ask because it sounds like you might not be.
Welcome to EC! It seems as if you're moving past the denial stage. This process can take a lot of time for some, and there's no shame in that. You have to make sure you understand who you are and what you'll be going through. As for the future, would it really be a happy future if you married a guy, had kids, but really wanted to be with a woman? It would suck, for lack of a better word. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't worry about something five or ten years down the road. Just concentrate on you right now. You're the only thing that matters. There are plenty of ways for two women in a relationship to have a child. Adoption, surragote father, IV, etc. And the most important thing to remember: Coming out is not a race. Take it at your own pace. Don't come out until you're comfortable.
