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Dating and In the closet

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rairai, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. rairai

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    Okay so I got a gf... YAY me but she's in the closet with her friends and dad and most people and well i'm really not sure if she wants to be with me or if she's ashamed of me or what and and kind of makes me mad cause her friends dont' like me so they don't like to let her talk to me and well has anyone else ever been through this and what happened with your relationship.
     
  2. Nerdtendo

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    I havent been in a relationship, saddly, but I have been shunned for some rather silly things. My retaliation: Simply sit there, and nod. dont say anything. laugh a bit. go ahead and make yourself look like a moron. soon, they'll accept your there, and maby warm up to ya. ...Kinda works for me.
     
  3. SpikySpice

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    Before, both my ex and me were in teh closet so none of us feel ashame about one another, now Im out and he's still in teh closet but who cares if he dosent like me or feels ahsmae about me anyway

    Well, but for your girl, she needs to be out, if teh relationship keeps going on, or things'll mess up, once she is out, then things be easier for you guys, and peopel wont stop her talking to you anymore
     
  4. tinkerbell

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    Deal with it. If it takes enough of a toll on you that you don't want to continue the relationship, cite that as your honest reason for breaking up with her.
     
  5. xequar

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    The last guy I was dating was in the closet to his family and friends, and to be honest, it made the relationship very strained. Although it was nice that he always came to my place, it made it hard to make plans with him or anything because he was still living at his mom's place. And, because he wasn't out and I'm very open, it made some social scenes uncomfortable because either he was uncomfortable that I was being so open or I was uncomfortable that he was trying to hide like being gay was bad or something... Honestly, that relationship didn't last all that long, either.

    If you're out and open and your GF is not, it's something about which the two of you are going to have to sit down and have a serious conversation. You're going to have to establish how comfortable she is with you being open and how comfortable you are about being shunned at certain times in her effort to remain closeted. Unless you do that, the relationship is probably doomed, as much as I hate to say it.
     
  6. rairai

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    okay thanks for the advice ... i'm not completly open but everyone who knows says i'm pretty obvious... i really dont' want our relationship to end but i really don['t like dating someone in the closet.. its just really hard
    :bang:
     
  7. aussie paul

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    once I was in a gay relationship but both of us were so far in the closet it was dark and the door was locked, also we both acted str8, we both denied being gay or Bi. but in reality, when we were alone at our home ... what i'm trying to say is, being in a relationship which is strained because of the Closet is very difficult. Paul
     
  8. Metalbiguy

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    well i would talk to her about it, like don't say "if you don't come out I'll break up with you" just ask if she has any plans to come out, and express your feelings about how you feel because she might not know how much it is hurting you. and if she really likes you she will come out for you. and congrats on finding a relationship.
     
  9. Lava421

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    Rairai's girlfriend could come right back and say "if you really like me, you'll let me stay in the closet."

    That's all I've got.