My Best friend

I think you need to weigh your options carefully before deciding. You can be the pariah and divert the negativity from your friend. You could possibly even make a lasting difference. If you are going to do any of this, you have to make sure that you are capable of handling something like this and that you have a strong support system should you ever falter a little.
This is a major dilemma that is considered by many LGBT high schoolers (including me).
Good luck with whatever you choose!

 

As long as you protect yourself, whatever is fine.

Sometimes your friend might feel that she really wants to protect you too, at her own cost. Each person has an emotional need to give or take. Let each one be comfortable.

 

I don't know what you should do. It all depends on how strong you are. I know I would not be nearly brave enough to do that. I think that if you do decide to come out to the whole school then you should first come out to all of your close friends. If you come out to random people before your friends then your friends might feel cheated. And I don't think you should make a open announcement that you are gay if you do decide to come out to everyone. I think you should rather just tell people you are gay when they tease you about your friend being your girlfriend.
I know how it feels to want to spend so much more time with the people you have come out to. I sometimes feel like I am following my two friends who I came out to like a lost puppydog too. It's just that you feel so much better around them. I know how it feels. Haha but the two people who I came out to are both girls, so I don't have the problem of people thinking that I am dating either one of them. There is only the possibility that they might think I am crushing on one of them (which I am not). But luckily they are both very understanding people and don't think that so that's good.
Well best of luck to you, but I agree with the above poster, you need to weigh your options carefully before deciding.

 

You are concerned for you friend, and that's really sweet. You seem like a stand-up guy.

But considering where you live and everything. . . It's risky, I'll admit. You might be persecuted, harassed, etc. But does anyone know it for sure? Maybe people are becoming more accepting? It's hard as hell to tell.

You need to consider your options carefully. Or else there could be severe consequences. I came out in a very public manner to my school. No one ever persecuted me to my face, but let's just say there have been a few incidents and a few people who decided to no longer associate with me.

Maybe you could start by coming out to your family, that way if you do decide to come out at school they can be your safety net? That way if anyone does anything to you, your family knows why and they can pursue charges or something. I don't really know how it would work in Texas, I apologize.

Don't come out till you're ready or it could have really bad effects on you emotionally and everything.

Until you decide about coming out, maybe you could find a way to detract attention from you guys? I mean, it's high school, they'll probably have a new thing to talk about next week. But if the problem persists maybe you guys could hang out more outside of school and not let anyone know? It sounds sneaky, but if you want to get the idiots off of your friends back you may have to do that. It's stupid and not right, but it might be better until the heat dies down.

High school is ridiculous. I'm sure they'll be over this in a matter of days or a week. Just hang in there (*hug*)

 

I think it’s very commendable that you feel the need to make your school a more tolerant and accepting place, but that’s something that you can’t do without, as Nazo pointed out, a strong support system in place. You don’t seem to have that at the moment, either at school or at home (you mentioned that you’ve grown up in a deeply religious household). After all, establishing a GSA would probably be your last concern if you end up homeless as a result.

Also, while your friend is incredibly supportive of you in private, there is really no guarantee that she’ll be there for you if you do come out, especially since she came out as bi to you (which you mentioned in your intro post). You write that if you came out then perhaps all of the people’s cruelty would be entirely directed towards you, but that’s not necessarily how things would go. If people think it’s ok to turn against you for being gay, then they would probably also think it’s ok to turn against your friends or any others that would defend you for being true to yourself. In any case, you should definitely not put your best friend in such a position unless you thoroughly discuss the situation and any possible repercussions with her first.

Given that you mention that coming out is pretty much impossible for you as things currently stand, I would hold off on doing so for the moment. From what you’ve written, it seems that what you really need to do is spend time building that support system for when you are ready to come out. Are there any other friends that you’ve come out to or that you would consider coming out to in the near future? That would probably be the best short-term solution so that you can give your best friend some space and also so that you have more people that you feel completely comfortable around.

 

Kanen--

Be careful. Honestly, that's the first thing I can tell you. I have a friend who came out in Texas (he now goes to my college) and was almost killed by his classmates, and kicked out by his family. So be careful, hun. It's not selfish to try and protect your life.
Secondly, my best friend is a guy, so I know how odd/annoying it is when you insist you aren't dating someone and no one believes you. It makes it harder to meet new people and you also get stigmatized in this weird way. It's a very strange dynamic and I don't quite understand why it arises, but it does.
I think that you should talk to your friend and think about maybe inventing a relationship for yourself. If people think you're dating someone else, they'll be more likely to accept your friendship with her. Or maybe if she were to date someone, it'd work too.
It seems like the best thing you can do is talk to her about it. Tell her about how you're feeling and about how you're upset that she's getting sh*t for being a good friend. But... yeah. If I were in your shoes, I'd definitely tell people I was dating someone else. Not sure that's the best advice to give, but it's what I'd do.

 

>I have these thoughts that if I just came out, told everyone who I was, then our friendship would no longer be suspicious. Things would be so much easier on her. Yes, all the cruelty would be turned on me, but it would still be off of her, and that's all I care about.

This is hard my friend, and first of all, your friend is a kind sole, and a wonderful person. She can see the beauty that resides within yourself, and she is not reluctant to offend her popularity to stay true to that.

That said,
You are considering two options:
-Come out and save her from cruelty
-Stay in the closet and save yourself from cruelty.

Either way its going to hurt the two of you. What I would like to propose is a third or fourth option.

-Stay in the closet until it is a safe time for you to come out (post high school ext)
-Or, slowly come out to more of your (not as close) friends.

Remember that everyone is insecure in High School. People who ridicule, and are harassing have their own shit to deal with. It sounds like you are a very thoughtful person and that is something to be very proud of ok? Consider that if you were to stay in the closet for now then rumors would die down eventually, and people would stop caring.

Bullies have only as much power over yourself as you give them.
The best of wishes,

 

Wait, why is it bad that people think you like her? Why is that something to make fun of? People liking each other is pretty normal in high school. Having someone like you is not bad. She should just be like, "Yeah, it's because I'm so hot. He's madly in love with me." Preferably while you are standing right there, so you can both laugh.

Straight guys often don't think that guys can be friends with reasonably attractive girls without wanting to "be with" them. (They assume that everyone is straight, as well.) They don't think it's possible for you to like her, without liking her. So, since you obviously think she's awesome, you must want her to be your girlfriend.

Just stop denying it. You won't be able to convince them. Just say, "Yeah, she's the most wonderful girl I've ever met." It's not even a lie, right? If you stop arguing with them, there will be nothing to tease anyone about. It'll just be like, "Yeah, so?"