I am an adult. Married, with my own family (ok, that's another problem). My relationship with my mom is so much better than it ever was when I lived with her. We are actually close by my family's standards. Here's the thing... Some time ago, she felt taken advantage of by my stepsiblings and in retaliation she made complaints about them to children's aid and the police. The details are complicated... but my step-sister-in-common-law asked me to intervene with my mom so they could avoid having to take her to court. I tried. Risked my relationships with mom & my brothers to do it, and got nowhere. Now a similar situation is happening between my mom and someone else. Both sides feel taken advantage of. My mom has made complaints to the police and reported him for fraud to ODSP. Again, I am being asked to intervene. I know what she is doing is wrong. I also know that my intervention will make no difference except to jeopardize my family relationships again. I know this isn't really a 'gay' issue. I just hate my life today and needed to vent somewhere.
I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. It seems fairly complicated. How does your mother know this "someone else" who she reported? It seems to me that if you know that what she's doing is wrong, and if someone else could get hurt as a result of her actions (especially children) than you need to intervene if you think it will help. I know that it's hard when you think about jeopardizing your relationship with your mother, but it seems like you're like me in that you can't just stand by and watch something that you know is wrong happen, and so you will probably feel worse if you don't intervene. Why do you think that your mother does this? In what way does she feel taken advantage of in the current situation? With your step-siblings? I know you don't want to get into too many details, but if you could fill in the basics of this dynamic your mother seems to have with others, it may help us give better advice. Good luck, and if you feel like talking about the married and gay thing, feel free to start another thread, or post on my wall.
Yeah, standing by is not an option. The hard part is that I have made attempts with my mother before and she gets all self-righteous and will not be reasoned with. Nothing gets through. I will talk with her anyway, for all the good it will do. I can handle my mom being pissed off and thinking I'm a backstabber for 'taking sides'. Don't enjoy it, but been there/done that & the t-shirt still fits. It's just discouraging. Also, my mom still lives in the small town I grew up in (and my brothers all still live there) so we all get 'tarred with the same brush'. It took a lot of hard work for my brother and I to overcome the reputation my father made for us (made it hard to get jobs etc.) and now my mom... sigh... I will do what I have to, get it over with, and we will all get through it somehow. Just had to get some bitchin' & moanin' out of the way first. Thanks for the support GreyGirl!
