Dilemma in my relationship...

Hey Welcome to EC Hmm I think if you talk to your Boyfriend( Wish i could say that about my self) He might be able to help you.


Your so lucky to have this problem most of us would die for this

 

If you want my advice, keep your current boyfriend. Do you have any reason to want to dump him, besides that you found someone else? I know you're in a really tight spot, but just think, how would you like it if your bf dumped you/cheated on you for someone else?

As far as the other guy goes, I know it will be hard, but I think you should try to resist the urge to run off with him. Keep him as a friend, just try to keep it to that. If your current relationship doesn't work, you could try to pick this other guy up. But until then, I think you should keep your current bf. Think about what kind of relationships you're trying to have. Are you looking for longer, meaningful relationships, or are you looking for shorter ones that dissolve as soon as you find someone cuter? I know both types of people, and I'm not saying one is better than the other. I'm just saying, which type of relationships do you want to have?

Of course, this is your life, not mine. I'm just standing on the sidelines, shouting out advice. But, if you're going to drop your current bf for this other guy, your reason should be because of something wrong within the relationship, not because of something outside it.

 

talk with the hot guy, the one thts just recently came out to you, ask him how he feels about you and all that, if he says that he wants you then ur gona have 2 decide if you can stay with ur current bf w/o cheating on him with the new guy or if you cant and think it would be best to break up. tht is the first thing to decide

next will be to ask yourself 'how will i feel once i break up with my bf and start to date the other guy' or 'how will i feel just staying friends with the hot guy and mabe in time if my current relationship falls apart then mabe dating him' take afew days to carefully think about each and every aspect of these two questions and then if your answers lead you to think tht u will be able 2 break up and date the other guy quite happily then talk to the other guy again, tell him tht you would like to start dating him, you havent spoke to your bf about it yet and just wanted to know what he thinks about it. if he still wants to go out with you (presuming he did but im gesin tht he wud want to)then talk with your current bf, tell him everything and see what he says, you could introduce the two guys w/o telling you current bf tht ur interested in the otherguy so tht when u do tell him about you wanting the other guy then he can see why. if on the otherhand you decide that you wouldnt be able to break up with ur current bf and will just wait to break up with him b4 u date the other then tell the other guy this and then if and only if you think your current bf will be able 2 handle the fact tht ur interested in another guy tell him everything, hiding it would only make it worse between you 2, u feeling guilty and him sensing tht and wundering y.

the next step is if you decide you could break up and is all down to your bf's response to you telling him why you want to break up, if he sees tht you could be happier with this guy than you are with him then he will be disappointed tht ur choosin sum1 else over him but if he can see tht u will be happier and he truly does love you then he will let you go and still stay friends and talk with you still and just be there when you need him, if he doesn't want to let you go just because you've met another guy then tell him tht its what will be happening and there is nothing he could do about it, but with you loving him as much as you do seeing your bf in that state will be hard and you will doubt breaking up with him, that will be the final task. if you can still walk away from him and go to the new guy then you really do want him more but if you find yourself comforting your bf, staying with him, hugging him and all tht then you still want him aswell wich wud be understandable so at this point it will be the final chance to decide if you want to stay with your current partner or break up.

the last step if you decided to break up then keep reassuring yourself your doing the right thing and let your bf know tht u wont change ur mind, then tell the other guy and start dating when u think is appropriate, if you decided not to break up at the last moment then get him and the other guy together, explain that you wont be breaking up and will just be staying friends, he should be fine with that and say tht hes next on the list so tht all hopes of a relationship hasnt gone. and whatever you decided to do there will be major tension for a while so if you dont want that then stay with ur current bf and dont ignore ur feelings about the other guy but play about but make sure nothing serious happens between you two. when i say play about i mean be the same as you were before he came out but theres no reason not to hug him or give him a quick kiss on the cheek as a way of support or somet.

whatever your choice make sure tht you have thought about it for awhile and its what you want to do, and not just an impulsive action. and remember if you dont decide to do anything with the other guy then ur bf doesnt have 2 find out tht u were seriously considering it.

wow long post and i havent covered half of what i could of

 

Well, I think( from my opinion), you should stay with your boyfriend, because you know he loves you, and you knwo you love him and have a great tiem with him too.

Only chnage when your relationship is totally not working out, but you shoudl try to forget, i mjean to get over your best friend, because it'll make your boyfriend supersad if you leave him, so yeah, you can hook your bestfriend with some gay guy you know, that's a great i dea

My mom said it's the worst thing taht you lay in someone's arm and think about soemone else or wanan be with someone else, becaus eyou wont have a good relationship, and both wont fel happy, so stick with your guy, he loves you

 

Wow, difficult position to be in. I think you need to really sit down and think about how you feel about both these boys.

Are you staying in a relationship because it is comfortable and safe but the emotions are not there or do you really love this guy and see a future (not necessarily the whole rest of your lives!!!) over the next few years?

What are your feelings for this other guy. Are you really attracted to him or was the fact that he was unavailable one of the factors?... you will have to dig deep within you for the answer to that one. It is also very flattering to you that your unrequited love of this summer does actually fancy you, but, are you flattered or truely attracted?

There is no answer to this question. You are very young to want only to be with one person but stability in relationships is what we all crave. Playing with the emotions of two people isn't fair on anyone and everyone ends up getting hurt. If you love your b/f, he loves you I would stick with it and see where it goes.

Whatever you decide I hope it all works out for you.

 

Good idea. Maybe it's important to distinguish between love and lust? I mean I can't speak from any experience, but it seems as though you only want to pursue this new guy because he's "abercrombie model hot". Imagine if you dumped your current boyfriend for this new bloke then realised that you didn't have as good a connection with him.

Good luck anyway, with whoever you end up with. :icon_wink