So here's some background info. I told my mom I was interested ONLY in girls when I was younger, and then she kept telling me, no no, you think boys are cute. So, she somehow convinced me other wise. And I told her I was bisexual, then I told her I was straight around 6 months ago. (Biggest Mistake Of My Life.) We very rarely talk about my being 'confused.' And, well, I really want her to know the truth. But I feel like, now, since I've told her so many different stories, I cant come out. Ever. Has anyone else done what I did? Also, I need some suggestions on coming out.. Thanks in Advance. :bang:
First off I see that you're new here so welcome to EC XD. You've come to the right place. I've done what you did just so I could avoid a fight. Just sit her down and tell her that you want to be honest with her and that this is how you are and you can't change that and that you want her to know. It may take time for her to accept it but she's your mother and she loves you no matter what. It took my mom a little while to come around to the idea but she now jokes about it with me and she knows my current girlfriend and loves her and she doesn't treat me any differently. I think it helps a bit that her best friend is gay but that's besides the point. I'm sure everything will work out but don't be surprised if she doesn't react so accepting when you first tell her and try not to let it bother you too much. I hope this helps. XD Update us
Hi, welcome to EC. I did something similar with my mom. Basically I wasn't REALLY as ready as I thought I was, and just kinda jumped into it. It started with an 'I'm Gay' and after she went through old relationships/feelings I've had with girls it went to an 'I'm Bi' and then to 'Maybe its hormones' and then to 'I don't know *cry cry*' kinda deal. So I guess I kinda went through what you are in a way-ish. If I were you though, I'd have it slip in when you were talking about relationships, LGBT related issues, or in a any conversation. Though you can always just open a conversation with it. Maybe something like how you told her previously? Just let it know its something you're not sure about, and that you'll tell her when you know for sure. That said, don't rush into anything. Eventually, you'll know. It all comes with time, and you are 14 after all. With all the hormones and whatnot running through you right now, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. Best of luck. (*hug*)
Hi there, and welcome to EC. This is a completely safe place for you to represent yourself fully. Your situation is kind crummy I must say, that said however, it is not the worst I have seen. Your mom is obviously having allot of denial issues, and is feeling negligent to say the least. However, she has already installed thoughts in her mind that you have "considered" being infatuated with women. Therefore, it is not unlikely that she already knows that you might be gay. Many people have done this with their parents, I know for me my mom just kept asking if I was gay and I kept saying no at first (granted i was in the 7th grade lol). None the less, it seems like it would be a good idea for you to come out; you are safe when coming out, and you know what to expect somewhat. Remember that coming out is not for her benefit as well, it is for your own. She can believe what she wants, but if you are open with her, then it is not on your conscious where that guilt resides. Your coming out is to represent yourself truthfully, and to act comfortably on your instincts. Good luck, and if you have any questions feel free to ask at any time.
I've done that before. My grandma kinda sorta asked something that would have told her the truth if I hadn't lied to her. I guess in the moment like that, it just seems easier to let people think what you know they want to believe is the truth. But it's up to you to decide what to do about it.
Hey guys! It's been a little bit since I posted this, and well, things have been going good. I've come out to my best friends and online on my myyearbook, which btw my mom doesn't monitor.. (Only people besides family I talk to,) and well, they're taking it very well! I've decided that maybe in a couple months I'll come out to my family. Though, I'm working on my letter now, so I can get it perfect. So, yes, I've decided to come out in a few months, through a letter. Or email. She'll get an email faster most likely. I also wanted to say thanks for your help! I'm terrified, but like you said, I already know what to expect somewhat. I forgot to add, I was crying the first time I told her, and well, she comforted me and told me she wanted me to be happy. And that she hated seeing me so upset. So, I guess that's a positive reaction (then her telling me otherwise, wasn't so great. I should've kept crying.) Though, I know she will probably yell at me this time, better to get it over with now then later and me regret not telling her.. So, thanks everyone!
