OK, I fiinally came out to my mom, and a few days ago, she asked me a question that I kind of struggled with. Why do you tell people that you're gay? This is the best answer I could come up with: What would you say?
I think the need to tell people stems simply from the need to be honest and not deliberately mislead people because of their false assumptions. If you let someone believe something you know not to be true when they find out they would be within their rights to be upset and feel betrayed. I think telling people is a mark of respect. It may also be because you have arrived at a stage in you're life where you are proud to be who who you are or at least are not ashamed of yourself. I think by telling people you affirm who you are and it is easier to accept... for you at least. If you don't tell people you are forced to live a lie or at least a half truth and that is not psychologically healthy for anyone. Well that's the answer from a straight mum so I might be completely off the mark but that's just how I see it.
I agree with Louise also ^^ but would like to add that it's also a way of confirming it with yourself, solidifying your status within your own mind. That was probably the biggest reason for me.
I agree with the rest of you. It is basically saying "im ready to date guys" but its also getting that weight off your shoulders, the fact that you are hiding your feelings from people.
It does show respect for the people that you are telling. But then after a certain point, in terms of your circle of friends, there isn't really a need to tell people. At that point, being 'more' out does facilitate meeting other gay men or women, or integrating that partner into other aspects of your life.
My decision to (slowly) tell people I'm gay is because I'm tired of lying to my family and friends. I feel as though I have such a huge burden on my shoulders having to hide myself. A few other reasons are: I'm sick of the immediate assumption that I'm straight and having people set me up on dates with their male friends. I hate the feeling whenever anyone asks me if I've found a boyfriend, or when they point out guys and I feel it necessary to go along with their comments about how 'hot' they are. I think my family and friends deserve the truth because I can't live a lie forever. It would be unfair to myself and those around me to continue my 'secret lifestyle'. I want to be comfortable to express myself. And finally, making the decision to tell someone you're gay may lead to something positive in your life. Although there is a lot of fear and caution about coming out, there is also the possibility of finding someone special, meeting other GLBT people, or even giving someone else the courage to come out themselves. Many, many reasons as to your decision of telling someone you're gay. Hetero's don't need to announce their sexuality because everyone just assumes everyone else is hetero. I think it takes bravery to admit that you are different.
