Long thread i hope i made sense So after 7 year long friendship i ended it with my bestfriend shes just full of lies and stuff and i was tired of getting messages from guys talking about how she lies to them and fucks them over. Make a long story short i reintroduced her to a friend and they instantly became bffs and i felt like a second class citizen but i still try to trust her and all 3 of us would hang out and stuff it started out nice until sunday night. What really made me stop the friend ship was hanging out with her and a guy that i really liked and she was acting so flirty with him touching him having her head on his shoulders paying him attention ignoring me and stuff etc. SO i got pissed off and dint say anything and so we went somewhere else she got super drunk and act stupid so i left the place and went home. i talked to the guy i liked and he told me that she tried to get with him and stuff. And he liked her back and stuff he apologized for everything even being attracted to her and stuff. and Apologized for the bad night and stuff so he told me a shitload of stuff also about her.So after she sobered up and stuff we talked on the phone for an hour she gave me all this bullshit and tried to use the patch up lie. I will never do it again and blah blah blah. But i just had a gut feeling something wasn't right And also the guy too i told him i wanted to have nothing to do with him also. I admitted to liking him and stuff and he used to give me hints that he was interested and other people pointed it out everyone thinks my self included hes confused with his sexuality. So i got a long letter from him saying he was straight and i was uspet i couldn't get him and he said i should be happy for them if they ever dated so i dint responded. Imo a real straight guy would told me upfront that hes straight and knock it off not after everything went down. and just blocked him and his text number and the same with her. Its a shame she new how much inlove i was with him and she still went behind my back and tried to get with him So today i decided to end the friendship i pretty much told her something wasn't right and she needed to stop and stuff. So she tried to talk me out of it and i asked her once more does she have a thing for him she kept going around the question. So today i ended our friendship block and deleted her and stuff so i want to know where do i go from here? I been making new friends over the last month so i been hanging out with them very little So now this guy if he trys to talk to me at work he works at my job what should i say and/or do. I dont really have anything to say to him and knowing him i know he will be itching for my attention
Well, you introduced a friend (who is at very least bi, and very likely straight) to your female friend, and they started flirting. It happens. A lot. People don't mean to go into ignore mode, but when the hormones kick in, it has a way of blocking out everything else. It's understandable to be upset - both at them ignoring you, and at the fact that a guy you had your eye on now says he's straight and interested in your friend, not you. But I don't see the need to draw a line in the sand. If your female friend really IS such a backstabber, then yeah - it's best if you keep your distance. And perhaps you need to put some distance between you and the guy, as well. When he talks to you at work, be civil and friendly, but keep it at that level. If he asks you why you're distant, just tell him - you thought he was interested in you, you were getting interested in him, and you think it's best to keep some distance for awhile. Lex
I never new that could happen honestly with the hormones kicking in i couldn't see my self being his friend anymore either. Its just going to cause more stress and i don't want to be jealous and upset if he decides to date her. And what pissed me off was he should of said it upfront instead of waiting a few months to finally say durr I'm straight. And doing this will also kill the crush too which would be good. If he asks me then i would tell him straight out what happen but he sent me a message yesterday and i just read it and deleted it and did not respond so i hope he takes the hint i really don't see the need arguing back and fourth. Even with her i warn her a few times that it feels like were growing apart as friends and she would lie and said were not. And it ends up happening so i just think its time to just call it quits and end it. I just don't want to deal with her endless lying and stuff it just made me mad that i pour my heart out about him. And behind my back she was trying to get with him i just don't want a repeat of this happening if i get attracted to another guy and tell her about it and end up playing secret match maker. I told her tons of times that friendship means everything is on the table even if it makes one of us mad i just prefer to know then be lied too about it. And same thing i don't want to be jealous of them dating in the future.
If the guy talks to you all you need to do is say I'm sorry i do not want to assosiate myself with you, im trying to make my life better please respect that.
Ok Im sorry, and I uderstand allot of what you are saying, but I disagree with allot as well. If you say you dont want to be friends with her because it is going to stress you out then that is silly. Life is stressful, and you are going to have to either deal with it or run away from all your problems. She made a mistake, and so did this guy. But honestly, do you really want to be with someone who would claim to be straight after meeting this girl? I mean he is obviously confused, and he really hasnt been truthful to himself. How is he going to be truthful to you? Try and remember kindnes for your friend. 7 years is a long time to throw away over guys. I know this isnt want you want to hear, but talk to her, and make it very clear that this is never ok, and her lying is even less ok. If she cant deal with that then flat out tell her that you dont want to associated with her again, and she will ultimately be making to decision to stop talking.
Thanks for the advice guys The guy i liked were both done with each other i agree hes a confusing hott mess and i don't want to deal with him any longer. I deleted pictures of him i had saved and old messages etc. The hardest part is getting over him i been doing good not thinking about him as much as i used too. Good point Dougie i will say that to him if he says anything to me at work this weekend. i just hope one day he comes in terms with his sexuality whether hes straight or bi or gay. lol the guy pretty much thinks the reason why i am mad at him is because i have a crush on him & and he said hes not "gay" and never will be. I just felt and (other people agreed with me) if hes really straight he should of said something the first day i hit on him not wait several months and not hang out with me and let me touch him and hug him. Thank you guys for the advice i did talked to her yesterday we did talked about different stuff she understands the lying and the guy situation. I told her via text that tomorrow we need to sit down and really talk about everything person to person about everything and see where we are at.
It's possible that he didn't realize you were serious, and had real feelings for him. He thought it was obvious that he was straight, and the two of you were just playing, joking around. Straight people don't think they need to clarify their sexuality, they think it's obvious, automatically presumed. It seems like he was really surprised that you got so upset, and he took the time to write you a letter to explain his point of view, so he obviously cares about you, and wants to be your friend. And he wasn't your boyfriend, so dating someone else isn't really a betrayal of you. He and your friend obviously like each other, and he's made it clear that he isn't interested in you. You seem to think that your friends should ignore their mutual feelings for each other, and pass up a chance at love and happiness, because you have unrequited feelings for him. That isn't reasonable. It's understandable that your feelings are hurt right now, and that you are disappointed, but your friends didn't set out to hurt you deliberately, and they are clearly trying to maintain their friendships with you. Rather than cutting off the friendships permanently, maybe you could just tell them you want some space for a while, until you stop hurting.
Well im completely done with the guy i feel so much better and lighter with out dealing and being obsessed with him. It would be a mystery to know if hes confused or playing around If we do ever talk he would just be an work acquaintance a hi whats up ok bye thing. He did work today its was funny i saw him probably 10 times today he did looked alittle upset today and he laughed at my joke but we dint say anything to each other today. Someone asked him why wasn't we talking and he said "I broke his heart and let him down" The girl we are friends again were not bff's but were working on our friendship and see where it goes I told her too if they do date i wouldn't like it but i try would accept it
Scratch that^ Update if anyone cares And i thank everyone for the advice I saw him at work Saturday and you could tell he was upset i dont know about me or he was having a bad day so we both talked about it in person and via text. We called a truce and i pretty much told him he needs to be upfront with things and not hide stuff On Sunday a friend wanted to hang out so all 3 of us did we all went out to a bar last night and had the time of our life with other friends and he thanked me a lot for hanging out with him. The funny thing was a drunk guy started talking and hitting on me and started acting gay to me so i was hugging and touching and he kept kissing me the guy that i used to like stood there and was staring like crazy. I was hugging on the other guy and looked up and we made eye contact for a little. And think god the crush is going away too
